Things a man should never do on the golf course

Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Mongrel wrote:Back in '67 I did a cross-country trip prior to going to war. One of the stops was SLC where we stayed a couple of days with the family who moved west from PA coupla years earlier to be close to the wife's Mormon clan. The folks were Mormons of the smoking and drinking kind. They lived in a 'burb named Sandy and took us up the canyon to ski Alta one morning. First time I'd ever ski'd west of northeastern PA, NY and Vermont. The top was closed due to 80 mph winds but a thousand feet or so below was open and it was the most drop dead gorgeous skiing I ever did. Later that afternoon my father, our host and I played 18 holes at their country club close to their house. Have fun out there and take care of your skin.

Alta and Snowbird are true high alpine ski resorts of which there are few in the US. Yes, some of the most inspiring scenery you'll ever see. The Bird is open at least through May while Alta remains open Fri-Sun. Sandy is cool, there are a lot of people there because it's the closest most people can get to Little Cottonwood Canyon. PC was a silver town, Hearst and a few others made their fotunes there until it closed down in the 1950-s. I intend to carry on in the spirit of that.

Horseballs wrote:Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Originally thought my sex life would be like a reunion tour, similar to the grand finale at a fireworks show. But I think you're closer to the mark. This winter I had a pretty full dance card from visiting women and I see this continuing as they return for sex, skiing, partying on Main St., etc., without having to pay for a place to stay while having a local tour guide/chef/etc. So perhaps the inspiration was having a Mormon like gaggle, it's possible.

Welcome back Zo. Big Dave still checks in occasionally. Wow some big events have gone down in your life since Xmas.

Hope it's all good.

Cheers
Kiwi

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Originally thought my sex life would be like a reunion tour, similar to the grand finale at a fireworks show. But I think you're closer to the mark. This winter I had a pretty full dance card from visiting women and I see this continuing as they return for sex, skiing, partying on Main St., etc., without having to pay for a place to stay while having a local tour guide/chef/etc. So perhaps the inspiration was having a Mormon like gaggle, it's possible.

You must have had a very compelling reason to leave Laguna Beach for Utah. Sure, CA may have all kinds of political BS, high taxes, Juans and high cost of living but it is by far the best state I've ever lived in. I've lived in the midwest, Texas, Oregon, Washington and did a brief stint in Baltimore when I was 3 years old. CA beats all of them by a mile.

One of my best friends from college grew up in Sandy, UT. He lives in Seattle now. Utah has some great skiing and there is great golf to be played near the border of Nevada, close to Mesquite. Maybe you can rejoin bicycle review dot com. They have some swell guys over there.

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Originally thought my sex life would be like a reunion tour, similar to the grand finale at a fireworks show. But I think you're closer to the mark. This winter I had a pretty full dance card from visiting women and I see this continuing as they return for sex, skiing, partying on Main St., etc., without having to pay for a place to stay while having a local tour guide/chef/etc. So perhaps the inspiration was having a Mormon like gaggle, it's possible.

I visited Utah last year for a golf tournament. When I was there I thinking Utah would be a great place to retire. The Mormons have great respect for their elders. Since I don't have any legitimate children, at least none known, I'm going to need some honest god fearing people to put up with my sorry stubborn arse when I get old.

I'd say Utah is better than WA, which I recall you were considering. I don't think you would like the snow in WA. Hard, chattery, graupel, slush, rain, white out, and ice are all adjectives used to describe the snow/skiing in WA while, deep, dry, clear, groomed, etc. are used to describe snow/skiing in UT. Not a hard decision if you're a skier.

Being killed for being a Sancho is no way to leave this earth. Glad to hear you got out alive.

Hey, welcome back a-hole!

Poe4soul wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Originally thought my sex life would be like a reunion tour, similar to the grand finale at a fireworks show. But I think you're closer to the mark. This winter I had a pretty full dance card from visiting women and I see this continuing as they return for sex, skiing, partying on Main St., etc., without having to pay for a place to stay while having a local tour guide/chef/etc. So perhaps the inspiration was having a Mormon like gaggle, it's possible.

I visited Utah last year for a golf tournament. When I was there I thinking Utah would be a great place to retire. The Mormons have great respect for their elders. Since I don't have any legitimate children, at least none known, I'm going to need some honest god fearing people to put up with my sorry stubborn arse when I get old.

I'd say Utah is better than WA, which I recall you were considering. I don't think you would like the snow in WA. Hard, chattery, graupel, slush, rain, white out, and ice are all adjectives used to describe the snow/skiing in WA while, deep, dry, clear, groomed, etc. are used to describe snow/skiing in UT. Not a hard decision if you're a skier.

Being killed for being a Sancho is no way to leave this earth. Glad to hear you got out alive.

Hey, welcome back a-hole!

Some people love Seattle but I absolutely hated it. It seems like it's either raining or drizzle 90% of the time. I don't like the grungy Seattle people attitude and all of their sports team suck. The whole coffee thing is annoying as well. Space Needle is lame. Women are all pale with black hair. Lots of homeless people who are very aggressive.

What's the last thing that went through Kurt Cobain's mind?

[quote="Mongrel"]What's the last thing that went through Kurt Cobain's mind?[/quote

What has 4 legs and works at McDonald's?

[quote="12pierogi"]

Mongrel wrote:What's the last thing that went through Kurt Cobain's mind?[/quote

What has 4 legs and works at McDonald's?

OK, the answer to mine is "his eyes." It was a Seattle joke. I give up on yours.

[quote="Mongrel"]

12pierogi wrote:

Mongrel wrote:What's the last thing that went through Kurt Cobain's mind?[/quote

What has 4 legs and works at McDonald's?

OK, the answer to mine is "his eyes." It was a Seattle joke. I give up on yours.

The answer is Nirvana.

FamousDavis wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Originally thought my sex life would be like a reunion tour, similar to the grand finale at a fireworks show. But I think you're closer to the mark. This winter I had a pretty full dance card from visiting women and I see this continuing as they return for sex, skiing, partying on Main St., etc., without having to pay for a place to stay while having a local tour guide/chef/etc. So perhaps the inspiration was having a Mormon like gaggle, it's possible.

You must have had a very compelling reason to leave Laguna Beach for Utah. Sure, CA may have all kinds of political BS, high taxes, Juans and high cost of living but it is by far the best state I've ever lived in. I've lived in the midwest, Texas, Oregon, Washington and did a brief stint in Baltimore when I was 3 years old. CA beats all of them by a mile.

One of my best friends from college grew up in Sandy, UT. He lives in Seattle now. Utah has some great skiing and there is great golf to be played near the border of Nevada, close to Mesquite. Maybe you can rejoin bicycle review dot com. They have some swell guys over there.

I really don't know what it will be like to live in Park City for an extended period. So far so good. I learned long ago mountains do it for me. A great benefit is people come to visit frequently so I feel like I have friends and family around even more than when I lived nearer to them. Those of us living in Park City refer to out of town guests during the winter as "freeloaders". It's meant more in an endearing way than as a dig because most really like the visits. That said, for anyone not be schooled in staying over at your buddy's house in a ski town etiquette, it's customary to buy the host drinks and dinner when out on the town. If it's biking/fishing/hunting/boating season normal rules apply.

I've consumed snow in many places both in Europe and NA and IMO nothing equals Utah skiing for fun. The closest might be Jackson Hole or th Dolomites during an exceptional year. But SLC has an airport 45 minutes from Park City and SLC is a hub for Delta making travel pretty easy. I'll still be going back to CA mostly during the swing seasons in fact I can spend up to 49% of my time there without being a resident. Even if UT doesn't work out, I'll never be a Californian again. Yes, I'm done and the reasons are many. I fully realize for many it's a different story and I semi-respect that.

Has anyone seen Spank?

Poe4soul wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Originally thought my sex life would be like a reunion tour, similar to the grand finale at a fireworks show. But I think you're closer to the mark. This winter I had a pretty full dance card from visiting women and I see this continuing as they return for sex, skiing, partying on Main St., etc., without having to pay for a place to stay while having a local tour guide/chef/etc. So perhaps the inspiration was having a Mormon like gaggle, it's possible.

I visited Utah last year for a golf tournament. When I was there I thinking Utah would be a great place to retire. The Mormons have great respect for their elders. Since I don't have any legitimate children, at least none known, I'm going to need some honest god fearing people to put up with my sorry stubborn arse when I get old.

I'd say Utah is better than WA, which I recall you were considering. I don't think you would like the snow in WA. Hard, chattery, graupel, slush, rain, white out, and ice are all adjectives used to describe the snow/skiing in WA while, deep, dry, clear, groomed, etc. are used to describe snow/skiing in UT. Not a hard decision if you're a skier.

Being killed for being a Sancho is no way to leave this earth. Glad to hear you got out alive.

Hey, welcome back a-hole!

Thanks, good to hear from you guys again. I know what I wish to be doing when I leave this earth, I only hope it's post-orgasm. I remembered the story about your friend, going forward I'll be doing background checks, unless the NRA has a problem with that. It starts with innocently protecting yourself from ex bf-s but ends with all of us in chains. Without complete freedom our culture would not be able to so freely continue to devolve.

I skied Crystal Mountain in WA and it's like most places. Great snow seems to concentrate in the Rockies. Park City has few Mormons so there's an interesting relationship between SLC and PC. Kind of like China and Hong Kong. SLC is a time warp in terms of values so you may be on to something, there are loads of retirees particularly in the southern part of the state.

I haven't spent a ton of time in Utah, though I was there over 9/11/2001. I was working with some "salt of the earth" types for a refinery purchase. Good people, but relatively insular. Several had veritable bunkers filled with ammo, weapons, canned food and water. The original doomsday preppers.
There was a lot of construction going on for the 2002 Olympics and a lot of out of towners and Mexicans doing the work. The locals were not very happy about that.

Horseballs wrote:I haven't spent a ton of time in Utah, though I was there over 9/11/2001. I was working with some "salt of the earth" types for a refinery purchase. Good people, but relatively insular. Several had veritable bunkers filled with ammo, weapons, canned food and water. The original doomsday preppers.
There was a lot of construction going on for the 2002 Olympics and a lot of out of towners and Mexicans doing the work. The locals were not very happy about that.

Most of us forgot (or don't even know) that Mitt Romney who financially saved the 2002 Olympics and perhaps Utah... OK I open a can of worms... Jump in Lerry

Larry doesn't have big enough stones to jump in here. Someone might just ask him how his gold investments are doing.

Lorenzzo wrote:

FamousDavis wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Originally thought my sex life would be like a reunion tour, similar to the grand finale at a fireworks show. But I think you're closer to the mark. This winter I had a pretty full dance card from visiting women and I see this continuing as they return for sex, skiing, partying on Main St., etc., without having to pay for a place to stay while having a local tour guide/chef/etc. So perhaps the inspiration was having a Mormon like gaggle, it's possible.

You must have had a very compelling reason to leave Laguna Beach for Utah. Sure, CA may have all kinds of political BS, high taxes, Juans and high cost of living but it is by far the best state I've ever lived in. I've lived in the midwest, Texas, Oregon, Washington and did a brief stint in Baltimore when I was 3 years old. CA beats all of them by a mile.

One of my best friends from college grew up in Sandy, UT. He lives in Seattle now. Utah has some great skiing and there is great golf to be played near the border of Nevada, close to Mesquite. Maybe you can rejoin bicycle review dot com. They have some swell guys over there.

I really don't know what it will be like to live in Park City for an extended period. So far so good. I learned long ago mountains do it for me. A great benefit is people come to visit frequently so I feel like I have friends and family around even more than when I lived nearer to them. Those of us living in Park City refer to out of town guests during the winter as "freeloaders". It's meant more in an endearing way than as a dig because most really like the visits. That said, for anyone not be schooled in staying over at your buddy's house in a ski town etiquette, it's customary to buy the host drinks and dinner when out on the town. If it's biking/fishing/hunting/boating season normal rules apply.

I've consumed snow in many places both in Europe and NA and IMO nothing equals Utah skiing for fun. The closest might be Jackson Hole or th Dolomites during an exceptional year. But SLC has an airport 45 minutes from Park City and SLC is a hub for Delta making travel pretty easy. I'll still be going back to CA mostly during the swing seasons in fact I can spend up to 49% of my time there without being a resident. Even if UT doesn't work out, I'll never be a Californian again. Yes, I'm done and the reasons are many. I fully realize for many it's a different story and I semi-respect that.

Has anyone seen Spank?

Spank still posts on our old site, calling Larry out for his 'retarded jackass' posts but, unless he's taken on a new moniker, he hasn't been sighted over here.

Kiwigolfer wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

FamousDavis wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:Hi Zo. You haven't become a Mormon have you?
I had a dream that I turned 40 last week, but luckily it was just 39. In my mind 50 is just a number. Granted, it's an impossibly high number, but a number nonetheless. 60 is also a number.

Originally thought my sex life would be like a reunion tour, similar to the grand finale at a fireworks show. But I think you're closer to the mark. This winter I had a pretty full dance card from visiting women and I see this continuing as they return for sex, skiing, partying on Main St., etc., without having to pay for a place to stay while having a local tour guide/chef/etc. So perhaps the inspiration was having a Mormon like gaggle, it's possible.

You must have had a very compelling reason to leave Laguna Beach for Utah. Sure, CA may have all kinds of political BS, high taxes, Juans and high cost of living but it is by far the best state I've ever lived in. I've lived in the midwest, Texas, Oregon, Washington and did a brief stint in Baltimore when I was 3 years old. CA beats all of them by a mile.

One of my best friends from college grew up in Sandy, UT. He lives in Seattle now. Utah has some great skiing and there is great golf to be played near the border of Nevada, close to Mesquite. Maybe you can rejoin bicycle review dot com. They have some swell guys over there.

I really don't know what it will be like to live in Park City for an extended period. So far so good. I learned long ago mountains do it for me. A great benefit is people come to visit frequently so I feel like I have friends and family around even more than when I lived nearer to them. Those of us living in Park City refer to out of town guests during the winter as "freeloaders". It's meant more in an endearing way than as a dig because most really like the visits. That said, for anyone not be schooled in staying over at your buddy's house in a ski town etiquette, it's customary to buy the host drinks and dinner when out on the town. If it's biking/fishing/hunting/boating season normal rules apply.

I've consumed snow in many places both in Europe and NA and IMO nothing equals Utah skiing for fun. The closest might be Jackson Hole or th Dolomites during an exceptional year. But SLC has an airport 45 minutes from Park City and SLC is a hub for Delta making travel pretty easy. I'll still be going back to CA mostly during the swing seasons in fact I can spend up to 49% of my time there without being a resident. Even if UT doesn't work out, I'll never be a Californian again. Yes, I'm done and the reasons are many. I fully realize for many it's a different story and I semi-respect that.

Has anyone seen Spank?

Spank still posts on our old site, calling Larry out for his 'retarded jackass' posts but, unless he's taken on a new moniker, he hasn't been sighted over here.

I remember when he posted on that bicycle site, you know the one where they try and make riding a friggin' bicycle sound macho (LOL). He was out of water there. Problem is it sounds like he's sharing a fishbowl with Alan and Larry these days. Wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Speaking of anyone, has Nifty been over here?

Nifty is dead. His younger brother does post over as "Trombone" something or other.

Trumpets. Old trumpets in Italian.

An old Trumpet may or may not fire. An old Italian trumpet however still has a fighting chance. I was worried about Nifty during the Boston Marathon episode until they figured out those kids did it. I'm not sure Nifty knows anything about anything exercise related. Had the target been a comfy chair factory I might feel different.

I think that Nifty may have weapons. Firearms. And would probably have no compunction about dispatching a couple of Chechen hajjis to Hell with several three-round bursts. Despite his politics.

Mongrel wrote:Few absolute rules for civilised adult male golfers but there are two iron-clads:

1. It is permitted to urinate while on the golf course but only when visually shielded from other players and any residents or nearby dwellings or occupants in vehicles on adjoining roadways. As always, follow the "golden" rule and only urinate where it would be well nigh impossible for anyone's ball to land on the spot of your piddle.

2. It is NEVER EVER permissable to defecate on a golf course.

Some of us, especially Oklahomans, have a very hard time finding vegetation big enough to shield our oversize. Most of the lady golfers on our course just smile and say, "thank you," whenever we go to urinate on the course.

SoonerBS wrote:

Mongrel wrote:Few absolute rules for civilised adult male golfers but there are two iron-clads:

1. It is permitted to urinate while on the golf course but only when visually shielded from other players and any residents or nearby dwellings or occupants in vehicles on adjoining roadways. As always, follow the "golden" rule and only urinate where it would be well nigh impossible for anyone's ball to land on the spot of your piddle.

2. It is NEVER EVER permissable to defecate on a golf course.

Some of us, especially Oklahomans, have a very hard time finding vegetation big enough to shield our oversize. Most of the lady golfers on our course just smile and say, "thank you," whenever we go to urinate on the course.

You obviously golf in the desert where no vegetation grows. Correct?

Kiwigolfer wrote:

SoonerBS wrote:

Mongrel wrote:Few absolute rules for civilised adult male golfers but there are two iron-clads:

1. It is permitted to urinate while on the golf course but only when visually shielded from other players and any residents or nearby dwellings or occupants in vehicles on adjoining roadways. As always, follow the "golden" rule and only urinate where it would be well nigh impossible for anyone's ball to land on the spot of your piddle.

2. It is NEVER EVER permissable to defecate on a golf course.

Some of us, especially Oklahomans, have a very hard time finding vegetation big enough to shield our oversize. Most of the lady golfers on our course just smile and say, "thank you," whenever we go to urinate on the course.

You obviously golf in the desert where no vegetation grows. Correct?

When I was at Oklahoma SU - stillwater OK - I met a lot of wild girls there. I got to know a guy at a Foosball table who was the champ at that time and I beat the sh$$$t out of him. We became friend after that. One Thanksgiving he invited me back to his house in Wichita falls TX? after Thanksgiving dinner I went out with him and his older sister to another house (Their dad was a dentist in one the US bases nearby) , a whole bunch of guys and girls.. talk about sex and drugs, wow... next day their Dad drove me into the US base to avoid me from going with his children