Tiger Club rules

Tiger seems to have some unwritten rules if you want to be in his club (and stay there). Charles Barkley recently talked about Woods. He is out of the club. Here are some of the rules I've witnessed being broken, resulting in people who were close to Tiger being silently cast out and never spoken to again.

Rule #1: Don't talk about Tiger (see Haney, Butch and now the Round Mound- Charles Barkley).

Rule #2: Don't profit off of Tiger (see Fluff).

Rule #3: Don't repeat Tiger's jokes (see GQ writer who was fired and can't find work)

Rule #4: If you are Tiger's caddy you don't caddy for anyone else, even if Tiger is hurt or in a scandal.

#5. - Don't knock out Tiger's front teeth with a five iron (Elin)

#6: If you be he ho, don't laugh at his diminutive Johnson.

#7 Don't call him a cheater, or you will be threatened with a lawsuit and forced to make a very public apology. Ask Brandel Chamblee about this one.

What did Barkley say? I don't remember hearing about this but my People magazine subscription ran out a couple months ago.

My wife might still have that edition. A bunch of them are stacked in our upstairs bathroom which is hers. The downstairs bathroom is stacked with Golf Magazine editions from 2007 to present. That is my bathroom.

Mongrel wrote:My wife might still have that edition. A bunch of them are stacked in our upstairs bathroom which is hers. The downstairs bathroom is stacked with Golf Magazine editions from 2007 to present. That is my bathroom.

Which smells worse?

#8 - Don't fuck up Tigers swing forever, heavily promote yourself, make a fool out of yourself giving lessons to Charles Barkley on TV and then blame Tiger for sucking. (Haney)

Lorenzzo wrote:

Mongrel wrote:My wife might still have that edition. A bunch of them are stacked in our upstairs bathroom which is hers. The downstairs bathroom is stacked with Golf Magazine editions from 2007 to present. That is my bathroom.

Which smells worse?

Mine smells better because I smoke in it when I am taking the morning shit.

Mongrel wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Mongrel wrote:My wife might still have that edition. A bunch of them are stacked in our upstairs bathroom which is hers. The downstairs bathroom is stacked with Golf Magazine editions from 2007 to present. That is my bathroom.

Which smells worse?

Mine smells better because I smoke in it when I am taking the morning shit.

Good cigar ?

Pky6471 wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Mongrel wrote:My wife might still have that edition. A bunch of them are stacked in our upstairs bathroom which is hers. The downstairs bathroom is stacked with Golf Magazine editions from 2007 to present. That is my bathroom.

Which smells worse?

Mine smells better because I smoke in it when I am taking the morning shit.

Good cigar ?

No, usually a Pall Mall Red 100. Sometimes a Winston Light 100. I never got into cigars, but my father smoked them a lot. When I was very young, I remember he would bring them back from Cuba. Of course this was before the Catro brothers took over.

#9 Never expect a popsicle to be offered in Tiger's house. They are for him only.


What are the odd's that Tom Watson picks Tiger for the Ryder Cup? We all know it wouldn't be in the best interest of the team for many reasons. He's worse off the tee than I am, and it's well known he's not a team guy. Hell, the only time the US has won recently was where Tiger was off the team. And who really believes Tiger wants to play in the Ryder Cup anyway? He's a social misfit who cringes in the public space, and the Ryder Cup is nothing but press conferences, social gatherings, and spending time in the team room with a bunch of people he is uncomfortable around.

I don't think Watson has any say in the matter. NBC or whoever is covering the event will force his hand. I think Tiger will probably miss the FedEx Cup playoffs, then invent some flare up in his back that excuses him from playing in the Ryder Cup.

A true sportsman would decline the invitation to compete as a Captain's pick knowing that #1, his invitation was driven by pressure from The Conglomerate for the ratings and ad bucks and, #2, he is nowhere near competition readiness required of participants in the event.

I must admit that it pained me to watch Sergio riding around in a golf cart fulfilling his duties as "Assistant Captain" a Ryder Cup or two ago because he neither qualified nor was selected by the then captain for the team. He just wasn't playing well enough to make it.

When they have celebrities other than pro golfers yucking it up with the team and captains like pro basketball stars that's when they lose me to reruns of "Fast & Loud" and "Street Outlaws".

#10 - Never complain if Eldrick blows his nose on your towel at the range. I saw him do this to Stevie's towel. I think Stevie complaining about it is the real reason Eldrick fired him.

I used to get inside info on Eldrick from someone in his circle when I lived in OC back when I cared.

Now I get inside info on Eldrick from people at the hospital here where he has his surgeries but now I could care less.

Eldrick will get picked by ESPN/NBC but decline either publicly or before anyone knows Chris Berman picked him. Eldrick realizes he would get humped in the ass 9-8 by some gap toothed Euro or worse Sergio and wouldn't want the humiliation.

Mongrel wrote:

Pky6471 wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Mongrel wrote:My wife might still have that edition. A bunch of them are stacked in our upstairs bathroom which is hers. The downstairs bathroom is stacked with Golf Magazine editions from 2007 to present. That is my bathroom.

Which smells worse?

Mine smells better because I smoke in it when I am taking the morning shit.

Good cigar ?

No, usually a Pall Mall Red 100. Sometimes a Winston Light 100. I never got into cigars, but my father smoked them a lot. When I was very young, I remember he would bring them back from Cuba. Of course this was before the Catro brothers took over.

Try this... Not expensive ($4.25 for 5 cigars in a pack)... Smell really good, I don't inhale, just for the smell when I play golf. I have not tried all flavors yet (so far : Wine, natural mild, Apple)... Cherry flavor would be next

http://www.thompsoncigar.com/product/BLACK-MILD-CIGARILLO-NATURAL-WINE/74778.uts

Pky6471 wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Pky6471 wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Mongrel wrote:My wife might still have that edition. A bunch of them are stacked in our upstairs bathroom which is hers. The downstairs bathroom is stacked with Golf Magazine editions from 2007 to present. That is my bathroom.

Which smells worse?

Mine smells better because I smoke in it when I am taking the morning shit.

Good cigar ?

No, usually a Pall Mall Red 100. Sometimes a Winston Light 100. I never got into cigars, but my father smoked them a lot. When I was very young, I remember he would bring them back from Cuba. Of course this was before the Catro brothers took over.

Try this... Not expensive ($4.25 for 5 cigars in a pack)... Smell really good, I don't inhale, just for the smell when I play golf. I have not tried all flavors yet (so far : Wine, natural mild, Apple)... Cherry flavor would be next

http://www.thompsoncigar.com/product/BLACK-MILD-CIGARILLO-NATURAL-WINE/74778.uts

Do you get strange looks from the clerk when you buy those Black and Milds? I didn't know anyone actually smoked the tobacco from those. Mostly, the kids tap out the tobacco and make blunts out of them.

Lorenzzo wrote:#10 -  Never complain if Eldrick blows his nose on your towel at the range.  I saw him do this to Stevie's towel.  I think Stevie complaining about it is the real reason Eldrick fired him.

I used to get inside info on Eldrick from someone in his circle when I lived in OC back when I cared.

Now I get inside info on Eldrick from people at the hospital here where he has his surgeries but now I could care less.

Eldrick will get picked by ESPN/NBC but decline either publicly or before anyone knows Chris Berman picked him.  Eldrick realizes he would get humped in the ass 9-8 by some gap toothed Euro or worse Sergio and wouldn't want the humiliation.

I see this going one of two ways. He is absolutely being picked for the team. Of this I am 100% sure. Tom Watson may be a prideful old bastard, but he would literally be killed if he tried to keep Tiger off the team.

That said, expect to see Tiger start wincing in pain during the weekend at this week's tournament. It's a no cut event, so he's guaranteed to be there. Tiger will downplay this new "injury" in his press conferences saying he "feels great."

Based upon his performance in the Bridgestone, he will either 1) withdraw from the Ryder Cup, or 2) use his back as a possible out clause for embarrassing play in the Ryder Cup.

Horseballs wrote:

Pky6471 wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Pky6471 wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Mongrel wrote:My wife might still have that edition. A bunch of them are stacked in our upstairs bathroom which is hers. The downstairs bathroom is stacked with Golf Magazine editions from 2007 to present. That is my bathroom.

Which smells worse?

Mine smells better because I smoke in it when I am taking the morning shit.

Good cigar ?

No, usually a Pall Mall Red 100. Sometimes a Winston Light 100. I never got into cigars, but my father smoked them a lot. When I was very young, I remember he would bring them back from Cuba. Of course this was before the Catro brothers took over.

Try this... Not expensive ($4.25 for 5 cigars in a pack)... Smell really good, I don't inhale, just for the smell when I play golf. I have not tried all flavors yet (so far : Wine, natural mild, Apple)... Cherry flavor would be next

http://www.thompsoncigar.com/product/BLACK-MILD-CIGARILLO-NATURAL-WINE/74778.uts

Do you get strange looks from the clerk when you buy those Black and Milds?  I didn't know anyone actually smoked the tobacco from those.  Mostly, the kids tap out the tobacco and make blunts out of them.  

Isn't that a lot of pot to put in one cigar? How can they afford to buy it? Of course I have no idea how much it costs nowadays. Last time I bought some was when Bush was president. That's George Herbert Walker. Back in the 1960's in San Diego when you could buy a kilo for $20, there was no problem making big ones. Of course you had to cull lots of sticks and seeds out beforehand.

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:#10 -  Never complain if Eldrick blows his nose on your towel at the range.  I saw him do this to Stevie's towel.  I think Stevie complaining about it is the real reason Eldrick fired him.

I used to get inside info on Eldrick from someone in his circle when I lived in OC back when I cared.

Now I get inside info on Eldrick from people at the hospital here where he has his surgeries but now I could care less.

Eldrick will get picked by ESPN/NBC but decline either publicly or before anyone knows Chris Berman picked him.  Eldrick realizes he would get humped in the ass 9-8 by some gap toothed Euro or worse Sergio and wouldn't want the humiliation.

I see this going one of two ways.  He is absolutely being picked for the team.  Of this I am 100% sure.  Tom Watson may be a prideful old bastard, but he would literally be killed if he tried to keep Tiger off the team.  

That said, expect to see Tiger start wincing in pain during the weekend at this week's tournament.  It's a no cut event, so he's guaranteed to be there.  Tiger will downplay this new "injury" in his press conferences saying he "feels great."  

Based upon his performance in the Bridgestone, he will either 1) withdraw from the Ryder Cup, or 2) use his back as a possible out clause for embarrassing play in the Ryder Cup.  

So the consensus possibilities are:

1.  Chris Berman picks him but he declines beforehand with an excuse...
2.  Chris Berman picks him, he plays awfully and then makes an excuse...

I don't see him going but then if the ESPN herd throws in a few appearance sheckels I suppose he might...

I think Tiger will only be picked by Watson if he finishes in the top 5 in any of the tournaments before the chance to pick ends. I don't think Watson will be seen as crazy at all. Watson has a lot of respect with the fans. Plus, most of the public realizes that Tiger has been out for awhile and isn't 100%. I don't think it will be as shocking as some of you profess.

That being said, I don't necessarily think that Tiger would be a bad pick. Plus, I don't know where you get the idea that he doesn't fit in with the other players. Most of the players like Tiger. Phil is the one that some of them don't get along with. It's guaranteed that Furyk will leave several important putts short of the cup or simply miss the cup by a mile.

They should pick Tiger simply to make it more interesting. He's just one player.

I think it would be cool if a couple of the players on each time had to be over 50. You can have Montgomery and Faldo up against Fred Couples and some other US player. Maybe one guy over 70. Nicklaus vs. some no name Brit.

FamousDavis wrote:I think Tiger will only be picked by Watson if he finishes in the top 5 in any of the tournaments before the chance to pick ends.  I don't think Watson will be seen as crazy at all.  Watson has a lot of respect with the fans.  Plus, most of the public realizes that Tiger has been out for awhile and isn't 100%.  I don't think it will be as shocking as some of you profess.  

That being said, I don't necessarily think that Tiger would be a bad pick.  Plus, I don't know where you get the idea that he doesn't fit in with the other players.  Most of the players like Tiger.  Phil is the one that some of them don't get along with.  It's guaranteed that Furyk will leave several important putts short of the cup or simply miss the cup by a mile.  

They should pick Tiger simply to make it more interesting.  He's just one player.  

I think it would be cool if a couple of the players on each time had to be over 50.   You can have Montgomery and Faldo up against Fred Couples and some other US player.  Maybe one guy over 70.  Nicklaus vs. some no name Brit.

Who does Tiger hang out with on tour?  I know Phil is very popular with a lot of the newer guys.  You always hear Phil having money games with other pros during the practice rounds.  I know Phil is good buddies with Kuchar, Fowler, and Keegan, and I know those guys are very popular amongst their peers.  
You hear about Tiger getting there for practice rounds before sunrise, playing 9 holes by himself, then GTFO before he might possibly come into contact with another human being.  My gut feeling is that Tiger is a pretty lonely dude out there.  
I think Langer would be a good Euro pick, even without age restrictions.  
I think Furyk and Stricker need to be left off all future team competitions.  They are classic chokers.

The pressure won't come from the fans it will come from Chris Berman (ESPN).

Chris Berman is very good at one thing. Calling NFL games. Other than that, I reach for the remote whenever I hear his voice. The worst thing in the world to watch is him trying to play golf. Most notably at Pebble Beach in the pro am. That he receives minutes of coverage on the course speaks poorly of the decision makers in the van of the network televising the event.

I don't like Berman in any setting. The only place he is even remotely tolerable is on Monday Night Countdown, but that show is not very good. ESPN has gotten worse with each year. It began when they became big players in broadcasting college and pro sports. The rest of their programming is overtly designed to advertise for their covered games. They pander to large markets and try to create a following for athletes they support. Their Lebron coverage was just over the top. Countless shows digging into where he might go. I understand they are a business trying to maximize revenue, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

I know I have a remote and don't have to watch, but I usually have a little background noise going on when working remote, and I prefer sports programming since it doesn't require 100% attention.

Is it too early to begin the NFL 2014 thread?

ESPN is the network equivalent of that loud obnoxious kid in high school who had nothing to say but would never shut up. So basically the network equivalent of Chris Berman.

ESPN used to be watchable for me. I used to watch Mike & Mike every morning before work during the NFL months from the Draft through pre-season to post-Super Bowl. Lately it seems like there has been an edict to get in touch with the feminine side. It seems to me like they are trying to attract more carpet-lickers and butt-rangers.