Who Beat The Shit Out Of Robert Allenby?

Apparently he did. However I enjoyed the fabricated kidnapping story very much.

Be fooked if I can remember. Just a face-plant, mate.

The doctor said I'll prescribe you some muscle relaxants. I said no, somehow I have really bad reactions to muscle relaxants in fact last time I ended up in the ER. He said not to worry, there's this new drug called Flexeril and no one ever has any problems with it. So I wake up that evening at 4 AM make three steps towards the bathroom and pass out while walking. Doctors are morons.

I wake up surrounded by EMTs summoned by my wife and with head wounds that looked exactly like Allenby's. That's how I knew he was telling a whopper.

Of course, how many guys would say well I was at this titty bar and got riproaring drunk and walked outside and passed out and hit my head on the pavement. Not many.

Ex-wife, right Zo? You didn't recently get married again did you?

Some one is punching out washed up golfers all over the globe. Does anyone actually believe Tiger got his fake tooth knocked out by a camera? The Lee Westwoods and Steve Strickers of the world better watch their step.

Old Player ???

Pky6471 wrote:Old Player ???

Ha! That's a pretty good guess. I recall one or more of those Aussies ragging on Allenby. I always liked him and rooted for him. He won at Riviera one year and that's one of my favorite courses. To watch on TV, anyway. I don't think Tiger ever played it. And he was a local boy, too. Something must have rubbed him and/or Earl the wrong way there. Maybe a member took Tiger for a valet or asked Earl to wash his Bentley while he got in a quick nine.

Horseballs wrote:Ex-wife, right Zo?  You didn't recently get married again did you?  

Some one is punching out washed up golfers all over the globe.  Does anyone actually believe Tiger got his fake tooth knocked out by a camera?  The Lee Westwoods and Steve Strickers of the world better watch their step.  

I'm grateful to all those pasting has-been golf fairies before they're able to enter the world of skiing. Yes, in Tigers case they were a little late, but I'm appreciative nonetheless. It's certainly not surprising pro golfers aren't able to defend themselves. Apparently the only time they can make a fist is when jacking off with strippers or porn stars.

I should have said wife at the time. No haven't gotten remarried.

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:Ex-wife, right Zo?  You didn't recently get married again did you?  

Some one is punching out washed up golfers all over the globe.  Does anyone actually believe Tiger got his fake tooth knocked out by a camera?  The Lee Westwoods and Steve Strickers of the world better watch their step.  

I'm grateful to all those pasting has-been golf fairies before they're able to enter the world of skiing. Yes, in Tigers case they were a little late, but I'm appreciative nonetheless. It's certainly not surprising pro golfers aren't able to defend themselves.  Apparently the only time they can make a fist is when jacking off with strippers or porn stars.

I should have said wife at the time. No haven't gotten remarried.

Golf is certainly not an activity that screams masculinity. The whole "golf and sex" thread seems like a non-starter. I'm sure my wife (or the cart girl) isn't dripping in her panties when I'm in my golf gear. Add in an oversized purse full of toys and balls and it's a recipe for seeking the comfort of paid strippers.

Lorenzzo wrote:The doctor said I'll prescribe you some muscle relaxants. I said no, somehow I have really bad reactions to muscle relaxants in fact last time I ended up in the ER. He said not to worry, there's this new drug called Flexeril and no one ever has any problems with it. So I wake up that evening at 4 AM make three steps towards the bathroom and pass out while walking. Doctors are morons.

I wake up surrounded by EMTs summoned by my wife and with head wounds that looked exactly like Allenby's.  That's how I knew he was telling a whopper.

Of course, how many guys would say well I was at this titty bar and got riproaring drunk and walked outside and passed out and hit my head on the pavement. Not many.

I don't know if I agree with that. I think the story about falling down and hitting your head is better than being kidnapped and placed in the trunk of a car. The former is kind of a funny story and, while embarrassing, seems better than allowing yourself to get duped.

FamousDavis wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:The doctor said I'll prescribe you some muscle relaxants. I said no, somehow I have really bad reactions to muscle relaxants in fact last time I ended up in the ER. He said not to worry, there's this new drug called Flexeril and no one ever has any problems with it. So I wake up that evening at 4 AM make three steps towards the bathroom and pass out while walking. Doctors are morons.

I wake up surrounded by EMTs summoned by my wife and with head wounds that looked exactly like Allenby's.  That's how I knew he was telling a whopper.

Of course, how many guys would say well I was at this titty bar and got riproaring drunk and walked outside and passed out and hit my head on the pavement. Not many.

I don't know if I agree with that.  I think the story about falling down and hitting your head is better than being kidnapped and placed in the trunk of a car.  The former is kind of a funny story and, while embarrassing, seems better than allowing yourself to get duped.  

Sponsors will run for the hills if one of their guys has a blackout episode at a titty bar. No… from a financial standpoint you're better off getting shoved into a trunk and taken for a ride.

Pky6471 wrote:Old Player ???

Wasn't me I promise. Was nowhere near Hawaii.
There has not been a lot of sympathy over here all the same.
Caddied in a State Open over here last week and he (Allenby) did come up in conversation. Gotta say that he is not well liked among them (Aussie pros) and they bought up plenty of examples of his poor behavior. They call him the caddy killer.

Olderplayer wrote:

Pky6471 wrote:Old Player ???

Wasn't me I promise. Was nowhere near Hawaii.
There has not been a lot of sympathy over here all the same.
Caddied in a State Open over here last week and he (Allenby) did come up in conversation. Gotta say that he is not well liked among them (Aussie pros) and they bought up plenty of examples of his poor behavior. They call him the caddy killer.

Such as?

Kiwigolfer wrote:

Olderplayer wrote:

Pky6471 wrote:Old Player ???

Wasn't me I promise. Was nowhere near Hawaii.
There has not been a lot of sympathy over here all the same.
Caddied in a State Open over here last week and he (Allenby) did come up in conversation. Gotta say that he is not well liked among them (Aussie pros) and they bought up plenty of examples of his poor behavior. They call him the caddy killer.

Such as?

Mostly concerning his arrogance. Would not even return a G'day from a fellow Aussie pro that was obviously seen by him as inferior. Giving a hard time to anyone who did not pander too him (hotel staff, drivers etc.). Swearing at and ripping shreds of caddies for any perceived error.
BTW Kiwi. How are you. Without sounding wounded I thought I might get more than 2 words out of you.

Olderplayer wrote:

Kiwigolfer wrote:

Olderplayer wrote:

Pky6471 wrote:Old Player ???

Wasn't me I promise. Was nowhere near Hawaii.
There has not been a lot of sympathy over here all the same.
Caddied in a State Open over here last week and he (Allenby) did come up in conversation. Gotta say that he is not well liked among them (Aussie pros) and they bought up plenty of examples of his poor behavior. They call him the caddy killer.

Such as?

Mostly concerning his arrogance. Would not even return a G'day from a fellow Aussie pro that was obviously seen by him as inferior. Giving a hard time to anyone who did not pander too him (hotel staff, drivers etc.). Swearing at and ripping shreds of caddies for any perceived error.
BTW Kiwi. How are you. Without sounding wounded I thought I might get more than 2 words out of you.

Yeah I had heard years ago that he is an arrogant tosser who is really hard on his caddies. He's certainly not getting any sympathy re the 'kidnapping' incident.

I'm good thanks OP. Haven't been playing very well this summer but have decided to play Cape Kidnappers in a fortnight. A buddy of mine and I have been talking about it for a couple of years and he is really keen to play as his second child is on the way and he fears his golf will be severely curtailed once his second child arrives. So sort of a bucket list tick off if you will. Not that he's expecting to kick the bucket anytime soon but he sees his unlimited golfing freedom kicking the bucket.

How has your summer been OP?

Second children can be like dogs. If you have just one dog, it becomes attached to you and craves your attention every minute. Get another dog and they keep themselves occupied.