Really..........?

Perhaps not our favorite subject but something happened over the weekend that made me curious and I'd rather discuss it here than with my real world friends..

One of my buddies hasn't been on a ride in over week. I called Saturday morning to see what's up and his live-in girlfriend answered. She said he had a health condition and was writhing in pain for the better part of a week and couldn't ride. When I asked what it was there was silence and she asked me if I could just come on over.

A friend in need is a friend indeed so off I went.

I walked upstairs to find his girlfriend look up at me with her eyes but with her head pointed down and her lips pursed. Kind of semi-sarcastic frown.   There on the bed was my friend this 6'3" 200 pound athlete, moaning in pain.

Turns out he had a really bad case of Roids. He had gone to a physician who prescribed Cortizone but apparently it added to the problem by burning the already problematic area of his sphincter. So he was refusing more medical care. I was able to convince the poor guy to go to the ER.

The crew there treated it seriously and prescribed a strong pain killer. When I at one point laughed they gave me a stern look and said that on the pain scale he was experiencing something approaching childbirth.  Really? Has anybody had them like this?

I'm doubling up on the fiber…

No, the butthole is typically A-OK. I do like the childbirth reference and wish it was used more frequently so women couldn't throw that in our face all the time. Like, "my ingrown toenail has just surpassed childbirth pain" or "this razor burn is equal to childbirth." I'm convinced women are big pusssies when it comes to childbirth.

Hmm... never had roids but the most unpleasant experience I can recount re the backside is having my Dr perform a digital prostate exam!

The initial insertion was excruciatingly painful then he gave a couple of 'tweaks' to examine the prostate and I just about hit the roof!

Is your friend Ok now?

I spoke to the guy's gf a little while ago and the healing of the internal burning and drugs they gave him has him down to a level of pain he can tolerate. When I saw him he was completely miserable.

Part of the drug program involves strong laxatives.  He claims he's shitting things he ingested back in 1994. Interestingly, the physician said they see the worst cases this time of year because people's heating systems turn on drying out their home environment leading to dehydration. Proper diet high in fiber, exercise and adequate hydration is apparently the best defense.

I'm not sure I buy the childbirth thing either. You see plenty of women around who've had 4+ kids. No one would ever choose to go through what my friend just did four times.

Kiwigolfer wrote:Hmm... never had roids but the most unpleasant experience I can recount re the backside is having my Dr perform a digital prostate exam!

The initial insertion was excruciatingly painful then he gave a couple of 'tweaks' to examine the prostate and I just about hit the roof!

Is your friend Ok now?

I had an exam recently and I had to tell my doctor, "Doc, your ring is killing me!" His responce, "That's my wristwatch!"

Yuk!!

You know what the gerbils call 'roids?

Speed bumps.