Quick Etiquette Question

How much time/effort do you spend looking for an opponent's ball, when it's pretty clear it's not going to be found?
I was playing a match this weekend and we were all square after three, when my opponent pulls hooks a ball into the woods on 4. I hit a good tee shot in the fairway. I've got a pretty good line on where his ball went in, and it's a huge mass of tall weeds, some pricker bushes, probably poison ivy, etc. I'm walking and he's riding, so he's already in there looking, but not in the tall stuff where his ball has likely gone in. I make an effort of looking, but not in the tall shit. He ends up declaring it lost and hits another, ultimately picking up and conceding the hole.
This is a guy I'm friendly with and he's a past president, but there's no way I'm going into the tall shit to look for his ball. I've played matches against people who won't help at all, and I find that behavior to be bad form.

The roving club group I play with has a strict time limit on each round. So it is in all four players' best interest to solve the mystery of each ball hit into the junk. If my ball goes hard left which is my usual miss, oft times all our of us will look for it for a minute or two. If it has gone into a lateral, I will drop and hit #3. If it is lost, I will go back and replay although almost all of us will hit provisionals so going back to the tee or spot of prior shot is pretty rate.

If I were in a match play situation, I would be more eager to get on with play and more likely to spend little time looking for a ball I put a real bad swing on. I think USGA rules give you five minutes. In the heat of competition, that is way too fucking long.

I am OK with 2-3 minutes to search for a ball.

When we play at a new course, we (4) all agree that - if it's clear to all 3 opponents that the ball of the 4th player in a rough and can't find it, we allow or are allowed a free drop without penalty , why; (1) speed up the play (2) 100% it's not in the water or wet land and if we play for a PGA tour then some spectators would find it , so if the pros have that benefits why don't we have the same benefits. Now, if it's in a rough and heading to a wet land or water then it's a stroke penalty if ball is not found.

I'm OK with a little time if the ball looks like it may be someplace where the player has an even or better chance of being able to hit the ball back into play. But if the thing has flown into waist high brambles, just give it up already and take a drop or go back to the tee or just drop one and hit it if you are not playing by the rules.

Now I don't mind looking for a guy's ball in the high grass since I will usually find enough tour-level balls like Pro V1's or the like to fill my shag bag.

If you are walking and they are riding you have a low level of responsibility to help. Under those circumstances 30 seconds searching in nonthreatening spots should suffice. If you are riding then until the time limit but away from hazardous ground.

If you are in Ferguson there is no responsibility to search during a curfew, in a place affected by a riot or amidst tear gas.

I always help people look for their's cause I expect the same when I pull one, which is my usual crappy shot. If its your home course you know if its in or out. When the tullies get overgrown with burning weed, poison ivy, wood ticks, etc. fuck it, you go look for it.

Play with a couple of guys regularly that very seldom buy balls. They just play whatever they find. Really pisses me off when I know the sob went in the river or ob and they take 3-4 minutes looking for the goddamned thing. DROP ONE and lets keep playing for christ sake.

Horseballs wrote:How much time/effort do you spend looking for an opponent's ball, when it's pretty clear it's not going to be found?  
I was playing a match this weekend and we were all square after three, when my opponent pulls hooks a ball into the woods on 4.  I hit a good tee shot in the fairway.  I've got a pretty good line on where his ball went in, and it's a huge mass of tall weeds, some pricker bushes, probably poison ivy, etc.  I'm walking and he's riding, so he's already in there looking, but not in the tall stuff where his ball has likely gone in.  I make an effort of looking, but not in the tall shit.  He ends up declaring it lost and hits another, ultimately picking up and conceding the hole.  
This is a guy I'm friendly with and he's a past president, but there's no way I'm going into the tall shit to look for his ball.  I've played matches against people who won't help at all, and I find that behavior to be bad form.  

It's his ball, if you think you know where it is, tell him where to look. You didn't hit it in there, it's not your responsibility. If he wanted to be a DB and blame you for the loss of ball, well... he's just a DB.

I can see helping more if the ball is somewhere in play, maybe plugged in a soft fairway or soft rough, but slogging through rhubarb is the responsibility of the guy who hit it there. Give directions if that might speed up play, but nothing more.

I used to play with a guy who hit it in the rhubarb really often. This other guy we played with had a habit of semi-babysitting him on the course during the first few years he played the game. Mr. Rhubarb got so used to Mr. Babysitter helping him find his ball in the woods that Mr. Rhubarb never learned how to hit it in the fairway like the rest of us. Long story short, Mr. Babysitter eventually burned out and wouldn't play with Mr. Rhubarb anymore. Mr. Rhubarb expected the rest of us to pick up Mr. Babysitter's role, except we didn't. Mr. Rhubarb quits golf because he doesn't like it/us anymore. Mr. Rhubarb finally decides to learn how to play golf and stop hitting every shot sideways. Mr. Rhubarb can go eff himself with a splintery 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. I don't like Mr. Rhubarb.

It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional. Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag. I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable. We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone. That's his call.
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.

I suppose I should apologize for my politeness and good manners. It wasn't in keeping with the spirit of GR, and for that I am truly, utterly, deeply sorry.

You can believe that I'll cry myself to sleep tonight over this. How inappropriate of me. I am deeply ashamed.   

[Philosoraptor]If I can't remember how to be an asshole, how will I ever give anyone shit?[/Philosoraptor]

Sorry but I believe manners maketh the man.

That's all you'll be getting from me.

Lorenzzo wrote:Sorry but I believe manners maketh the man.

That's all you'll be getting from me.

How rude.

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Mongrel wrote:

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking. He's been at the SPCC for over 20 years. I'm guessing he was waiting to see if I was in trouble off the tee before hitting a provisional. I could see that being the case, but I was in perfect position with a wedge to the green. And after declaring it lost, he went back and hit his provisional, poorly. Took one more swing out of a fairway bunker, watched me hit the green, then conceded.

So, I'm still alive in our year long matchplay bracket. I've won 5 matches and have 3 to go. Definitely the farthest I've ever made it. I usually get bounced by a 25 handicapper in one of the earlier rounds, but luck of the draw has me playing people 12 and lower.

Horseballs wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.  He's been at the SPCC for over 20 years.  I'm guessing he was waiting to see if I was in trouble off the tee before hitting a provisional.  I could see that being the case, but I was in perfect position with a wedge to the green.  And after declaring it lost, he went back and hit his provisional, poorly.  Took one more swing out of a fairway bunker, watched me hit the green, then conceded.  

So, I'm still alive in our year long matchplay bracket.  I've won 5 matches and have 3 to go.  Definitely the farthest I've ever made it.  I usually get bounced by a 25 handicapper in one of the earlier rounds, but luck of the draw has me playing people 12 and lower.

They must all be thinking: "What a bagger...."

Probably why the poor guy hit his ball in the woods and failed to play an immediate provisional.

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.  He's been at the SPCC for over 20 years.  I'm guessing he was waiting to see if I was in trouble off the tee before hitting a provisional.  I could see that being the case, but I was in perfect position with a wedge to the green.  And after declaring it lost, he went back and hit his provisional, poorly.  Took one more swing out of a fairway bunker, watched me hit the green, then conceded.  

So, I'm still alive in our year long matchplay bracket.  I've won 5 matches and have 3 to go.  Definitely the farthest I've ever made it.  I usually get bounced by a 25 handicapper in one of the earlier rounds, but luck of the draw has me playing people 12 and lower.

They must all be thinking: "What a bagger...."

Probably why the poor guy hit his ball in the woods and failed to play an immediate provisional.

What does that even mean? I'm assuming it's an attempt to troll me, but I can't even understand what the bait is. Unless you are deliberately trying to make no sense, in which case, well played.

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.  He's been at the SPCC for over 20 years.  I'm guessing he was waiting to see if I was in trouble off the tee before hitting a provisional.  I could see that being the case, but I was in perfect position with a wedge to the green.  And after declaring it lost, he went back and hit his provisional, poorly.  Took one more swing out of a fairway bunker, watched me hit the green, then conceded.  

So, I'm still alive in our year long matchplay bracket.  I've won 5 matches and have 3 to go.  Definitely the farthest I've ever made it.  I usually get bounced by a 25 handicapper in one of the earlier rounds, but luck of the draw has me playing people 12 and lower.

They must all be thinking: "What a bagger...."

Probably why the poor guy hit his ball in the woods and failed to play an immediate provisional.

What does that even mean?  I'm assuming it's an attempt to troll me, but I can't even understand what the bait is.  Unless you are deliberately trying to make no sense, in which case, well played.

It's disheartening to be in a match with a sandbagger.  Your opponent may have figured as many do it's pointless and gave up focus.  That's why I stopped playing in handicap adjusted events. The same guys/teams were placing 2 out of three years. That kind of frequency is statistical proof of sandbagging.

In general success in a handicapped event is a black mark amongst everyone except those who engage in the practice.

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.  He's been at the SPCC for over 20 years.  I'm guessing he was waiting to see if I was in trouble off the tee before hitting a provisional.  I could see that being the case, but I was in perfect position with a wedge to the green.  And after declaring it lost, he went back and hit his provisional, poorly.  Took one more swing out of a fairway bunker, watched me hit the green, then conceded.  

So, I'm still alive in our year long matchplay bracket.  I've won 5 matches and have 3 to go.  Definitely the farthest I've ever made it.  I usually get bounced by a 25 handicapper in one of the earlier rounds, but luck of the draw has me playing people 12 and lower.

They must all be thinking: "What a bagger...."

Probably why the poor guy hit his ball in the woods and failed to play an immediate provisional.

What does that even mean?  I'm assuming it's an attempt to troll me, but I can't even understand what the bait is.  Unless you are deliberately trying to make no sense, in which case, well played.

It's disheartening to be in a match with a sandbagger.  Your opponent may have figured as many do it's pointless and gave up focus.  That's why I stopped playing in handicap adjusted events. The same guys/teams were placing 2 out of three years. That kind of frequency is statistical proof of sandbagging.

In general success in a handicapped event is a black mark amongst everyone except those who engage in the practice.

This isn't a very good effort, Zo. I have seen better out of you, back when you were newly single and under 50. That said, I don't feel like getting into one of our contrived e-arguments.

I have given up between 8 and 3 strokes in every one of my matches so far, and my next match is either a 4 cap or an 8, pending the outcome.
I'm currently sitting at a 3, which is about where I am every summer. If I gave up handicapped tourneys, I'd only have about 2 comps per year, all of which I'd have no hope to win. I'm in that dreaded sweet spot where I'm in the lowest flight, yet not good enough to win. We've got a pretty good handle on our noted baggers. The two biggest offenders quit the club last fall when they were publicly humiliated. There are still several guys you'd want to buy in a pari-mutuel, but no one is really blatant.

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.  He's been at the SPCC for over 20 years.  I'm guessing he was waiting to see if I was in trouble off the tee before hitting a provisional.  I could see that being the case, but I was in perfect position with a wedge to the green.  And after declaring it lost, he went back and hit his provisional, poorly.  Took one more swing out of a fairway bunker, watched me hit the green, then conceded.  

So, I'm still alive in our year long matchplay bracket.  I've won 5 matches and have 3 to go.  Definitely the farthest I've ever made it.  I usually get bounced by a 25 handicapper in one of the earlier rounds, but luck of the draw has me playing people 12 and lower.

They must all be thinking: "What a bagger...."

Probably why the poor guy hit his ball in the woods and failed to play an immediate provisional.

What does that even mean?  I'm assuming it's an attempt to troll me, but I can't even understand what the bait is.  Unless you are deliberately trying to make no sense, in which case, well played.

It's disheartening to be in a match with a sandbagger.  Your opponent may have figured as many do it's pointless and gave up focus.  That's why I stopped playing in handicap adjusted events. The same guys/teams were placing 2 out of three years. That kind of frequency is statistical proof of sandbagging.

In general success in a handicapped event is a black mark amongst everyone except those who engage in the practice.

This isn't a very good effort, Zo.  I have seen better out of you, back when you were newly single and under 50.  That said, I don't feel like getting into one of our contrived e-arguments.  

I have given up between 8 and 3 strokes in every one of my matches so far, and my next match is either a 4 cap or an 8, pending the outcome.  
I'm currently sitting at a 3, which is about where I am every summer.  If I gave up handicapped tourneys, I'd only have about 2 comps per year, all of which I'd have no hope to win.  I'm in that dreaded sweet spot where I'm in the lowest flight, yet not good enough to win. We've got a pretty good handle on our noted baggers.  The two biggest offenders quit the club last fall when they were publicly humiliated.  There are still several guys you'd want to buy in a pari-mutuel, but no one is really blatant.  

I was merely responding to your call for GR type hijinks. I really didn't expect to hook you like this. And an effort that pales in comparison to my pre-50 attempts no less. Face it… we are all getting old as evidenced by our hanging on to a medium that has been jettisoned for social media.

In seriousness…you might watch yourself now that those other guys have been jettisoned from the club.

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.  He's been at the SPCC for over 20 years.  I'm guessing he was waiting to see if I was in trouble off the tee before hitting a provisional.  I could see that being the case, but I was in perfect position with a wedge to the green.  And after declaring it lost, he went back and hit his provisional, poorly.  Took one more swing out of a fairway bunker, watched me hit the green, then conceded.  

So, I'm still alive in our year long matchplay bracket.  I've won 5 matches and have 3 to go.  Definitely the farthest I've ever made it.  I usually get bounced by a 25 handicapper in one of the earlier rounds, but luck of the draw has me playing people 12 and lower.

They must all be thinking: "What a bagger...."

Probably why the poor guy hit his ball in the woods and failed to play an immediate provisional.

What does that even mean?  I'm assuming it's an attempt to troll me, but I can't even understand what the bait is.  Unless you are deliberately trying to make no sense, in which case, well played.

It's disheartening to be in a match with a sandbagger.  Your opponent may have figured as many do it's pointless and gave up focus.  That's why I stopped playing in handicap adjusted events. The same guys/teams were placing 2 out of three years. That kind of frequency is statistical proof of sandbagging.

In general success in a handicapped event is a black mark amongst everyone except those who engage in the practice.

This isn't a very good effort, Zo.  I have seen better out of you, back when you were newly single and under 50.  That said, I don't feel like getting into one of our contrived e-arguments.  

I have given up between 8 and 3 strokes in every one of my matches so far, and my next match is either a 4 cap or an 8, pending the outcome.  
I'm currently sitting at a 3, which is about where I am every summer.  If I gave up handicapped tourneys, I'd only have about 2 comps per year, all of which I'd have no hope to win.  I'm in that dreaded sweet spot where I'm in the lowest flight, yet not good enough to win. We've got a pretty good handle on our noted baggers.  The two biggest offenders quit the club last fall when they were publicly humiliated.  There are still several guys you'd want to buy in a pari-mutuel, but no one is really blatant.  

I was merely responding to your call for GR type hijinks.  I really didn't expect to hook you like this. And an effort that pales in comparison to my pre-50 attempts no less. Face it… we are all getting old as evidenced by our hanging on to a medium that has been jettisoned for social media.

In seriousness…you might watch yourself now that those other guys have been jettisoned from the club.

That's at least one too many uses of the word "jettisoned" in a single post.
I wish I was good enough to be a sandbagging 3 handicap, but that is an animal which doesn't exist. Too close to the sandbagging scratch, which makes no sense.

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Lorenzzo wrote:

Horseballs wrote:

Mongrel wrote:

Horseballs wrote:It was pretty strange that he didn't immediately hit a provisional.  Again, this is a good dude, not some DBag.  I always look for everyone's ball in my group, but there was just no way I was going to go traipsing through the prickers and burrs to look for a ball that even if somehow found wouldn't have been playable.  We both knew where it went in, but I didn't want to be the guy who says it's gone.  That's his call.  
I was hoping for some good ole GR wisdom of telling the guy to fukc off and hit another, to be honest.  

OK. After he hit his tee shot and it was heading for apparent misery, simply suggest that he hit a provisional. If he is an experienced player with de minimus gray matter between the aural receptors, he will get the message. I always find that my provisional tee shots with driver approach Tour Quality.

Yeah, I don't know what he was thinking.  He's been at the SPCC for over 20 years.  I'm guessing he was waiting to see if I was in trouble off the tee before hitting a provisional.  I could see that being the case, but I was in perfect position with a wedge to the green.  And after declaring it lost, he went back and hit his provisional, poorly.  Took one more swing out of a fairway bunker, watched me hit the green, then conceded.  

So, I'm still alive in our year long matchplay bracket.  I've won 5 matches and have 3 to go.  Definitely the farthest I've ever made it.  I usually get bounced by a 25 handicapper in one of the earlier rounds, but luck of the draw has me playing people 12 and lower.

They must all be thinking: "What a bagger...."

Probably why the poor guy hit his ball in the woods and failed to play an immediate provisional.

What does that even mean?  I'm assuming it's an attempt to troll me, but I can't even understand what the bait is.  Unless you are deliberately trying to make no sense, in which case, well played.

It's disheartening to be in a match with a sandbagger.  Your opponent may have figured as many do it's pointless and gave up focus.  That's why I stopped playing in handicap adjusted events. The same guys/teams were placing 2 out of three years. That kind of frequency is statistical proof of sandbagging.

In general success in a handicapped event is a black mark amongst everyone except those who engage in the practice.

This isn't a very good effort, Zo.  I have seen better out of you, back when you were newly single and under 50.  That said, I don't feel like getting into one of our contrived e-arguments.  

I have given up between 8 and 3 strokes in every one of my matches so far, and my next match is either a 4 cap or an 8, pending the outcome.  
I'm currently sitting at a 3, which is about where I am every summer.  If I gave up handicapped tourneys, I'd only have about 2 comps per year, all of which I'd have no hope to win.  I'm in that dreaded sweet spot where I'm in the lowest flight, yet not good enough to win. We've got a pretty good handle on our noted baggers.  The two biggest offenders quit the club last fall when they were publicly humiliated.  There are still several guys you'd want to buy in a pari-mutuel, but no one is really blatant.  

I was merely responding to your call for GR type hijinks.  I really didn't expect to hook you like this. And an effort that pales in comparison to my pre-50 attempts no less. Face it… we are all getting old as evidenced by our hanging on to a medium that has been jettisoned for social media.

In seriousness…you might watch yourself now that those other guys have been jettisoned from the club.

That's at least one too many uses of the word "jettisoned" in a single post.  
I wish I was good enough to be a sandbagging 3 handicap, but that is an animal which doesn't exist.  Too close to the sandbagging scratch, which makes no sense.  

Well… The proof is in the results. I hope you'll have more than that at your hearing. That former president is already pissed at you for not helping enough to find his ball.

I'm guessing he'll help orchestrate the jettison committee.