Right after taking my dog for her morning walk, today, I made a quick trip to the bakery. I needed to pick up some bread as well as the Christmas cannoli and macaroons. Don't ask me how I recognized him, but I ran into Artie the Aardvark, a "kid" that I hadn't seen in nearly fifty years.
Artie got his nickname in college, but obviously not from a local student. It was an out of town kid who game him the name.
You see, in Boston, the word "aunt" is not pronounced the same as the word "ant."
Here is why that's significant.
One night, when a bunch of us were both hammered and stoned, Artie admitted that over spring break, he'd performed cunnilingus on his mom's kid sister, i.e., his own aunt. That's when he forever became Artie the Aardvark. (For the zoologically challenged, an aardvark is an anteater.)
"Artie the Aardvark" I exclaimed when I saw him. He turned scarlet. "Nobody has called me that like forever," he gasped. Well, I could see immediately that I made his whole Christmas. It turns out that his wife was with him and will probably ask him about that nickname. I mean again after right then.
Artie got his nickname in college, but obviously not from a local student. It was an out of town kid who game him the name.
You see, in Boston, the word "aunt" is not pronounced the same as the word "ant."
Here is why that's significant.
One night, when a bunch of us were both hammered and stoned, Artie admitted that over spring break, he'd performed cunnilingus on his mom's kid sister, i.e., his own aunt. That's when he forever became Artie the Aardvark. (For the zoologically challenged, an aardvark is an anteater.)
"Artie the Aardvark" I exclaimed when I saw him. He turned scarlet. "Nobody has called me that like forever," he gasped. Well, I could see immediately that I made his whole Christmas. It turns out that his wife was with him and will probably ask him about that nickname. I mean again after right then.