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    Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

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    How bad are your Roids?

    [ 1 ]
    33% [33%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 2 ]
    67% [67%] 

    Total Votes: 3
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    Lorenzzo

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    Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Lorenzzo on Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:55 am

    I know what you're thinking but yes it does work. I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences. Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.
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    Horseballs

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Horseballs on Tue Jun 24, 2014 3:14 pm

    Lorenzzo wrote:I know what you're thinking but yes it does work.  I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.  

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences.  Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.
    Sometimes I try to pass off the weird stuff about me as normal too.
    avatar
    Poe4soul

    Posts : 417
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    Location : Portland, OR

    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Poe4soul on Tue Jun 24, 2014 3:37 pm

    Lorenzzo wrote:I know what you're thinking but yes it does work.  I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.  

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences.  Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.

    So, the elliptical doesn't cure hemorrhoids?
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    jmtbkr

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  jmtbkr on Tue Jun 24, 2014 4:22 pm

    you guys should try banging your azzes off road!

    Get on a fat tire bike and hit the trails cheers 

    Gets rid of most ailments.
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    Mongrel

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Mongrel on Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:33 pm

    A decent diet will keep the 'roids at bay. Any time on a bike I might spend would involve a two wheeler with enough fossil-fueled power to keep up with other vehicular traffic so as not to endanger me.



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    Lorenzzo

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Lorenzzo on Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:41 pm

    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:I know what you're thinking but yes it does work.  I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.  

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences.  Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.

    So, the elliptical doesn't cure hemorrhoids?  

    Good one.  The only thing gayer than the elliptical is kettlebells.

    I've had some ups and downs this summer with my conditioning.  The downs is led by no longer being able to sustain a 160 heart rate without being comatose the next day.  I'm older than I used to be.  

    I also thought of you or should I say your deceased neighbor when having to deal with my gf's ex bf who is rich, powerful and spiteful.  This guy found my life on the internet and by slapping a beacon on his ex's vehicle.  I chose to confront him at his office.  It was very unpleasant for him.  Turned out he's a sissy and more importantly was unarmed...a rarity in Utah.

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    Lorenzzo

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Lorenzzo on Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:45 pm

    Mongrel wrote:A decent diet will keep the 'roids at bay. Any time on a bike I might spend would involve a two wheeler with enough fossil-fueled power to keep up with other vehicular traffic so as not to endanger me.




    Could be the diet I suppose. And drinking more water.
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    Lorenzzo

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Lorenzzo on Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:54 pm

    jmtbkr wrote:you guys should try banging your azzes off road!

    Get on a fat tire bike and hit the trails cheers 

    Gets rid of most ailments.

    I've had some great mb rides so far this year.  Locally Round Valley is awesome as is Quarry Mountain and the route from Deer Valley mid mountain to Park City Mountain Resort.  But the best was Moab.  Did that for the first time this year.  In a few weeks I'm heading to Zion for more of that.  I road cycle most of the time but love the mountain stuff too.

    I'm supposed to host at Park City Moutain Resort next winter for the free pass, the camaraderie and the 30 minute head start on powder days.  Unfortunately PCMR forgot to renew their ground lease leading to a lawsuit, eviction and the possiblity the resort will not operate next winter.

    It's one of the strangest situations I've ever witnessed. PCMR will probably achieve a renegotiated lease but we'll see. Of course, there's always DV and Snowbird.
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    Lorenzzo

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Lorenzzo on Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:17 pm

    Horseballs wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:I know what you're thinking but yes it does work.  I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.  

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences.  Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.
    Sometimes I try to pass off the weird stuff about me as normal too.  

    I presume without success...
    avatar
    Poe4soul

    Posts : 417
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    Location : Portland, OR

    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Poe4soul on Tue Jul 08, 2014 9:08 am

    Lorenzzo wrote:
    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:I know what you're thinking but yes it does work.  I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.  

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences.  Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.

    So, the elliptical doesn't cure hemorrhoids?  

    Good one.  The only thing gayer than the elliptical is kettlebells.

    I've had some ups and downs this summer with my conditioning.  The downs is led by no longer being able to sustain a 160 heart rate without being comatose the next day.  I'm older than I used to be.  

    I also thought of you or should I say your deceased neighbor when having to deal with my gf's ex bf who is rich, powerful and spiteful.  This guy found my life on the internet and by slapping a beacon on his ex's vehicle.  I chose to confront him at his office.  It was very unpleasant for him.  Turned out he's a sissy and more importantly was unarmed...a rarity in Utah.


    I guess you're the expert on gay lifting/exercise, so I'll have to take your word on the kettlebell shot.

    Old is ok, just take up golf.

    My summer conditioning has been mostly the backyard project.  I usually get out of shape in the summer due to busy work schedule and too many parties, barbecues in the evening, and way too much wine and beer.

    progress photo on the backyard...



    I still have to prep the garden beds and plant, build a screen to block out my a-hole neighbor, and finish a zen rock garden. That should keep me busy for the remainder of the summer.

    BTW - It's never fun dealing with an someone else's trash.
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    Horseballs

    Posts : 752
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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Horseballs on Tue Jul 08, 2014 9:33 am

    Lorenzzo wrote:
    Horseballs wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:I know what you're thinking but yes it does work.  I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.  

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences.  Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.
    Sometimes I try to pass off the weird stuff about me as normal too.  

    I presume without success...
    Correct. Just like everyone else.
    Poe, I'm the same way in the summer. In the winter, I don't have as many competing options, and most of my summer options don't involve a ton of exercise. Though I did play tennis last week and I'm still sore. Not used to lateral movements apparently.
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    Poe4soul

    Posts : 417
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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Poe4soul on Tue Jul 08, 2014 9:41 am

    Horseballs wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:
    Horseballs wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:I know what you're thinking but yes it does work.  I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.  

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences.  Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.
    Sometimes I try to pass off the weird stuff about me as normal too.  

    I presume without success...
    Correct.  Just like everyone else.  
    Poe, I'm the same way in the summer.  In the winter, I don't have as many competing options, and most of my summer options don't involve a ton of exercise.  Though I did play tennis last week and I'm still sore.  Not used to lateral movements apparently.  

    I used to play tennis when I lived in the SW. It's a fun game to play, pretty boring to watch. Portland is too wet most of the year to play tennis. I can't see playing tennis indoors. It just doesn't seem natural.
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    Horseballs

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Horseballs on Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:26 pm

    Poe4soul wrote:
    Horseballs wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:
    Horseballs wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:I know what you're thinking but yes it does work.  I'm not saying I had a bad case but like most who resistance train without a bag of prunes and a gallon jug of water it's kind of inevitable.  

    I don't know if the seat pushes those things back up into one's anal cavity, bike shorts creeping up one's ass plays some role or improved circulation from conditioning deserves the credit but now I can strain to my heart's content with no apparent adverse consequences.  Life without hemorrhoids is awesome.

    Trust me boys, the key to feeling good is proper digestive and anal health.
    Sometimes I try to pass off the weird stuff about me as normal too.  

    I presume without success...
    Correct.  Just like everyone else.  
    Poe, I'm the same way in the summer.  In the winter, I don't have as many competing options, and most of my summer options don't involve a ton of exercise.  Though I did play tennis last week and I'm still sore.  Not used to lateral movements apparently.  

    I used to play tennis when I lived in the SW. It's a fun game to play, pretty boring to watch.  Portland is too wet most of the year to play tennis.  I can't see playing tennis indoors.  It just doesn't seem natural.
    I played 3 times a week for a few years back in the early 2000's. Turns out the game is only compelling when you play someone equal in skill level. My primary player and I had very similar games and had really good matches. Then he moved and I started playing a guy who played college tennis and kept it up. That pretty much sucked. Not the fact that I couldn't win, just the fact that I didn't get much of a workout because the points would be over as soon as he decided to hit a winner.
    Have you ever seen tennis live? It's definitely one of the best spectator sports.
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    Kiwigolfer

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Kiwigolfer on Tue Jul 08, 2014 2:00 pm

    I was a really keen tennis player up until I took up golf. Playing both just took up too much time so I eventually gave up the tennis. But I enjoy watching it a lot. Stayed up and watched the Wimbledon final as well as the semi's. More exciting than watching golf IMO.

    It's the middle of winter here so keeping fit becomes a challenge. I still mountain bike at the weekend and have lights so I can also ride at night but it's sometimes hard to get motivated when it's cold, which it has been lately. I also joined the gym but have only been going sporadically.  I used to be a bit of a gym rat 10 years ago but seem to have lost interest and don't feel very inspired.

    One thing that should help with the weight loss is I am doing something called 'Dry July'. No booze for the entire month of July. It's amazing how much beer and wine have become part or a daily habit rather than just on social occasions or at the weekend. Seem to be coping Ok so far but it felt strange settling in to watch the footy at the weekend without a fridge stocked full of beers. Habits of (half) a lifetime are hard to break!

    Glad the cycling has cured your ailment Zo. Sounds thoroughly unpleasant.
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    Mongrel

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Mongrel on Tue Jul 08, 2014 3:05 pm

    Going without beer during the 4th of July sounds like a real hardship.
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    Lorenzzo

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Lorenzzo on Tue Jul 08, 2014 6:37 pm

    Well turn over all the cards… tennis wins the gay contest for sure.  

    My conditioning cycle these last couple of years is opposite you guys. Once skiing starts the workouts decline, the roads aren't cycle able and it is difficult to maintain summer shape. During the summer it seems everybody bikes and the opportunities are endless. I thought I was as fit as a 50-year-old body would allow until some asshole X Olympian demonstrated otherwise. Sports-wise around here there's always a bigger fish.

    Poe, looks like a cool project. I suggest screening the chain-link fence as well as your neighbor. Maybe that's your plan.  Around here concrete freezes and cracks readily so we use decks. I'd rather have concrete.

    Kiwi, I suffered a mishap here that has put an end to most of my drinking. Amazing how much more I can eat and maintain my current weight without alcohol. The mishap involved the strict alcohol laws in the state of Utah. I was stopped coming out of a bar and blew a .045. Even though the limit is .08 per officer discretion any amount of alcohol can support a DUI. Even without a conviction my license was revoked for 60 days while I await trial. So the GF does the driving and my ex girlfriend neighbor teases me by calling me Miss Daisy.

    For a couple of grand I've hired the biggest badass DUI attorney in Utah who assures me I'll get off. But even if I do for two years if I get pulled over and any amount of alcohol or trace of pot shows up I go to jail for at least a week and possibly two months.  So no more pot which isn't a problem I wasn't that frequent and it was social. But I will be using cabs a lot. As I have been. I love it here and this doesn't change that however the Mormons don't like us non-Mormon Park Cityites very much.

    But they absolutely love the revenue we bring in including the liquor sales which the state has a monopoly on and supports a good deal of their budget. I'm past reacting to something as common as the hypocrisy upon which all religion rests.
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    Poe4soul

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Poe4soul on Wed Jul 09, 2014 10:33 am

    Lorenzzo wrote:Well turn over all the cards… tennis wins the gay contest for sure.  

    My conditioning cycle these last couple of years is opposite you guys. Once skiing starts the workouts decline, the roads aren't cycle able and it is difficult to maintain summer shape. During the summer it seems everybody bikes and the opportunities are endless. I thought I was as fit as a 50-year-old body would allow until some asshole X Olympian demonstrated otherwise. Sports-wise around here there's always a bigger fish.

    Poe, looks like a cool project. I suggest screening the chain-link fence as well as your neighbor. Maybe that's your plan.  Around here concrete freezes and cracks readily so we use decks. I'd rather have concrete.

    Kiwi, I suffered a mishap here that has put an end to most of my drinking. Amazing how much more I can eat and maintain my current weight without alcohol. The mishap involved the strict alcohol laws in the state of Utah. I was stopped coming out of a bar and blew a .045. Even though the limit is .08 per officer discretion any amount of alcohol can support a DUI. Even without a conviction my license was revoked for 60 days while I await trial. So the GF does the driving and my ex girlfriend neighbor teases me by calling me Miss Daisy.

    For a couple of grand I've hired the biggest badass DUI attorney in Utah who assures me I'll get off. But even if I do for two years if I get pulled over and any amount of alcohol or trace of pot shows up I go to jail for at least a week and possibly two months.  So no more pot which isn't a problem I wasn't that frequent and it was social. But I will be using cabs a lot. As I have been. I love it here and this doesn't change that however the Mormons don't like us non-Mormon Park Cityites very much.

    But they absolutely love the revenue we bring in including the liquor sales which the state has a monopoly on and supports a good deal of their budget. I'm past reacting to something as common as the hypocrisy upon which all religion rests.

    Yap, screening the fence. Eventually the fence will be replaced with black chain-link fencing. We are basically making a room out of the lower patio. We're going to try burnt cedar (shou-sugi-ban) for the screen. http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/169711/list/Shou-sugi-ban---Charred-Wood-Siding---Burnt-Wood-Siding We'll be using vegetation to define the areas better and to add additional screening. The upper patio is off basically public just off the den/wet bar. The lower area is just off the master bedroom. So we want the lower are to be an extension of the master bedroom and to be pretty private.

    From my trip to Utah, it seems that the Mormons like their prescription drugs, and sex. About every other billboard was either about teen pregnancy or prescription drug abuse.
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    Lorenzzo

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Lorenzzo on Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:43 pm

    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:Well turn over all the cards… tennis wins the gay contest for sure.  

    My conditioning cycle these last couple of years is opposite you guys. Once skiing starts the workouts decline, the roads aren't cycle able and it is difficult to maintain summer shape. During the summer it seems everybody bikes and the opportunities are endless. I thought I was as fit as a 50-year-old body would allow until some asshole X Olympian demonstrated otherwise. Sports-wise around here there's always a bigger fish.

    Poe, looks like a cool project. I suggest screening the chain-link fence as well as your neighbor. Maybe that's your plan.  Around here concrete freezes and cracks readily so we use decks. I'd rather have concrete.

    Kiwi, I suffered a mishap here that has put an end to most of my drinking. Amazing how much more I can eat and maintain my current weight without alcohol. The mishap involved the strict alcohol laws in the state of Utah. I was stopped coming out of a bar and blew a .045. Even though the limit is .08 per officer discretion any amount of alcohol can support a DUI. Even without a conviction my license was revoked for 60 days while I await trial. So the GF does the driving and my ex girlfriend neighbor teases me by calling me Miss Daisy.

    For a couple of grand I've hired the biggest badass DUI attorney in Utah who assures me I'll get off. But even if I do for two years if I get pulled over and any amount of alcohol or trace of pot shows up I go to jail for at least a week and possibly two months.  So no more pot which isn't a problem I wasn't that frequent and it was social. But I will be using cabs a lot. As I have been. I love it here and this doesn't change that however the Mormons don't like us non-Mormon Park Cityites very much.

    But they absolutely love the revenue we bring in including the liquor sales which the state has a monopoly on and supports a good deal of their budget. I'm past reacting to something as common as the hypocrisy upon which all religion rests.

    Yap, screening the fence. Eventually the fence will be replaced with black chain-link fencing.  We are basically making a room out of the lower patio.  We're going to try burnt cedar (shou-sugi-ban) for the screen. http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/169711/list/Shou-sugi-ban---Charred-Wood-Siding---Burnt-Wood-Siding We'll be using vegetation to define the areas better and to add additional screening.  The upper patio is off basically public just off the den/wet bar.  The lower area is just off the master bedroom. So we want the lower are to be an extension of the master bedroom and to be pretty private.

    From my trip to Utah, it seems that the Mormons like their prescription drugs, and sex.  About every other billboard was either about teen pregnancy or prescription drug abuse.

    Yeah… I think people get fucked up here as much or more than anywhere particularly Mormons but the level of judging is greater. When the officers back at the station figured out I donate a great deal of time to pro bono work here they were kind of ashamed they hassled me.

    But once stopped charges are unavoidable. They kind of signaled to me they'd be backing off in court and the report was pretty complementary. No overnight jail stay or bail which I'm told is unusual.

    That burnt wood looks fantastic… Should contrast all the green around your yard very well. Really nice the way to concrete the green and the wood will complement each other. From Photos way back I always thought your yard space had huge potential.
    avatar
    Poe4soul

    Posts : 417
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    Location : Portland, OR

    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Poe4soul on Thu Jul 10, 2014 10:25 am

    Lorenzzo wrote:
    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:Well turn over all the cards… tennis wins the gay contest for sure.  

    My conditioning cycle these last couple of years is opposite you guys. Once skiing starts the workouts decline, the roads aren't cycle able and it is difficult to maintain summer shape. During the summer it seems everybody bikes and the opportunities are endless. I thought I was as fit as a 50-year-old body would allow until some asshole X Olympian demonstrated otherwise. Sports-wise around here there's always a bigger fish.

    Poe, looks like a cool project. I suggest screening the chain-link fence as well as your neighbor. Maybe that's your plan.  Around here concrete freezes and cracks readily so we use decks. I'd rather have concrete.

    Kiwi, I suffered a mishap here that has put an end to most of my drinking. Amazing how much more I can eat and maintain my current weight without alcohol. The mishap involved the strict alcohol laws in the state of Utah. I was stopped coming out of a bar and blew a .045. Even though the limit is .08 per officer discretion any amount of alcohol can support a DUI. Even without a conviction my license was revoked for 60 days while I await trial. So the GF does the driving and my ex girlfriend neighbor teases me by calling me Miss Daisy.

    For a couple of grand I've hired the biggest badass DUI attorney in Utah who assures me I'll get off. But even if I do for two years if I get pulled over and any amount of alcohol or trace of pot shows up I go to jail for at least a week and possibly two months.  So no more pot which isn't a problem I wasn't that frequent and it was social. But I will be using cabs a lot. As I have been. I love it here and this doesn't change that however the Mormons don't like us non-Mormon Park Cityites very much.

    But they absolutely love the revenue we bring in including the liquor sales which the state has a monopoly on and supports a good deal of their budget. I'm past reacting to something as common as the hypocrisy upon which all religion rests.

    Yap, screening the fence. Eventually the fence will be replaced with black chain-link fencing.  We are basically making a room out of the lower patio.  We're going to try burnt cedar (shou-sugi-ban) for the screen. http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/169711/list/Shou-sugi-ban---Charred-Wood-Siding---Burnt-Wood-Siding We'll be using vegetation to define the areas better and to add additional screening.  The upper patio is off basically public just off the den/wet bar.  The lower area is just off the master bedroom. So we want the lower are to be an extension of the master bedroom and to be pretty private.

    From my trip to Utah, it seems that the Mormons like their prescription drugs, and sex.  About every other billboard was either about teen pregnancy or prescription drug abuse.

    Yeah… I think people get fucked up here as much or more than anywhere particularly Mormons but the level of judging is greater.  When the officers back at the station figured out I donate a great deal of time to pro bono work here they were kind of ashamed they hassled me.  

    But once stopped charges are unavoidable. They kind of signaled to me they'd be backing off in court and the report was pretty complementary.  No overnight jail stay or bail which I'm told is unusual.

    That burnt wood looks fantastic… Should contrast all the green around your yard very well.  Really nice the way to concrete the green and the wood will complement each other. From Photos way back I always thought your yard space had huge potential.

    Being hassled by johnny law sucks. I can't imagine being hassled by one that is a Mormon with an agenda.

    The other thing that struck me about Utah was the amount of young boys working. I watched two 10-14 year old boys doing the landscape maintenance on the property we were staying at. The 10 year old could hardly reach the mower handle but he was out mowing the property at 8:30 at night. You just don't see that other places.  

    I agree on my backyard.  Being a land surveyor I've seen many properties in Portland. When I walked into our backyard 20 years ago, I told my wife we were going to be buying this place.  One thing I really like is we only have 3-4 neighbors.  Which is pretty cool for being 5 minutes from downtown. The only downside to the property is highway road noise. Once the screen is up, planting done, I'm going to focus a fountain. Nothing fancy but just enough water sound to mask the road noise.

    The other unfortunate part is about 12 years ago the property next to us sold and an a-hole from NY city. He's a pig and does stuff like pull 6 months worth of weeds on the side yard, put them in an orange wheelbarrow, and leave it sitting just outside our bedroom window for 2 months. It's a beautiful thing to see our nice vegetation of flowers with his orange wheelbarrow full of weeds in a background. He replanted sod in the front and backyard. Within a year he just stopped watering the lawn. Now it's crap again. He complains that "the sod must have been defective or some shit." Anyway, we don't get along at all. My wife wants the screen to be 20 feet tall so we don't have to deal with his sorry arse. I guess every rose does have a thorn. He's also a breeder and is doing a great job teaching his children how to be bullies.
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    Lorenzzo

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    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Lorenzzo on Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:07 pm

    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:
    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:Well turn over all the cards… tennis wins the gay contest for sure.  

    My conditioning cycle these last couple of years is opposite you guys. Once skiing starts the workouts decline, the roads aren't cycle able and it is difficult to maintain summer shape. During the summer it seems everybody bikes and the opportunities are endless. I thought I was as fit as a 50-year-old body would allow until some asshole X Olympian demonstrated otherwise. Sports-wise around here there's always a bigger fish.

    Poe, looks like a cool project. I suggest screening the chain-link fence as well as your neighbor. Maybe that's your plan.  Around here concrete freezes and cracks readily so we use decks. I'd rather have concrete.

    Kiwi, I suffered a mishap here that has put an end to most of my drinking. Amazing how much more I can eat and maintain my current weight without alcohol. The mishap involved the strict alcohol laws in the state of Utah. I was stopped coming out of a bar and blew a .045. Even though the limit is .08 per officer discretion any amount of alcohol can support a DUI. Even without a conviction my license was revoked for 60 days while I await trial. So the GF does the driving and my ex girlfriend neighbor teases me by calling me Miss Daisy.

    For a couple of grand I've hired the biggest badass DUI attorney in Utah who assures me I'll get off. But even if I do for two years if I get pulled over and any amount of alcohol or trace of pot shows up I go to jail for at least a week and possibly two months.  So no more pot which isn't a problem I wasn't that frequent and it was social. But I will be using cabs a lot. As I have been. I love it here and this doesn't change that however the Mormons don't like us non-Mormon Park Cityites very much.

    But they absolutely love the revenue we bring in including the liquor sales which the state has a monopoly on and supports a good deal of their budget. I'm past reacting to something as common as the hypocrisy upon which all religion rests.

    Yap, screening the fence. Eventually the fence will be replaced with black chain-link fencing.  We are basically making a room out of the lower patio.  We're going to try burnt cedar (shou-sugi-ban) for the screen. http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/169711/list/Shou-sugi-ban---Charred-Wood-Siding---Burnt-Wood-Siding We'll be using vegetation to define the areas better and to add additional screening.  The upper patio is off basically public just off the den/wet bar.  The lower area is just off the master bedroom. So we want the lower are to be an extension of the master bedroom and to be pretty private.

    From my trip to Utah, it seems that the Mormons like their prescription drugs, and sex.  About every other billboard was either about teen pregnancy or prescription drug abuse.

    Yeah… I think people get fucked up here as much or more than anywhere particularly Mormons but the level of judging is greater.  When the officers back at the station figured out I donate a great deal of time to pro bono work here they were kind of ashamed they hassled me.  

    But once stopped charges are unavoidable. They kind of signaled to me they'd be backing off in court and the report was pretty complementary.  No overnight jail stay or bail which I'm told is unusual.

    That burnt wood looks fantastic… Should contrast all the green around your yard very well.  Really nice the way to concrete the green and the wood will complement each other. From Photos way back I always thought your yard space had huge potential.

    Being hassled by johnny law sucks. I can't imagine being hassled by one that is a Mormon with an agenda.

    The other thing that struck me about Utah was the amount of young boys working.  I watched two 10-14 year old boys doing the landscape maintenance on the property we were staying at.  The 10 year old could hardly reach the mower handle but he was out mowing the property at 8:30 at night. You just don't see that other places.  

    I agree on my backyard.  Being a land surveyor I've seen many properties in Portland. When I walked into our backyard 20 years ago, I told my wife we were going to be buying this place.  One thing I really like is we only have 3-4 neighbors.  Which is pretty cool for being 5 minutes from downtown.  The only downside to the property is highway road noise. Once the screen is up, planting done, I'm going to focus a fountain.  Nothing fancy but just enough water sound to mask the road noise.

    The other unfortunate part is about 12 years ago the property next to us sold and an a-hole from NY city. He's a pig and does stuff like pull 6 months worth of weeds on the side yard, put them in an orange wheelbarrow, and leave it sitting just outside our bedroom window for 2 months. It's a beautiful thing to see our nice vegetation of flowers with his orange wheelbarrow full of weeds in a background. He replanted sod in the front and backyard.  Within a year he just stopped watering the lawn.  Now it's crap again.  He complains that "the sod must have been defective or some shit." Anyway, we don't get along at all.  My wife wants the screen to be 20 feet tall so we don't have to deal with his sorry arse. I guess every rose does have a thorn.  He's also a breeder and is doing a great job teaching his children how to be bullies.  

    Yes… I'd rather fall into a vat of shit then have a neighbor from NYC. Something about living in that city does damage. I can't recall one I've met who didn't seem to have just gotten out of the psych ward. Garbage is their friend.  Out of school I had a nice offer there but declined. God knows the additional neuroses I would have accumulated.

    But if you're five minutes from downtown you're blessed for that reason. It's near or at the top of my list of favorite urban cores. I miss that bar at the Heathman. I also miss end of season sales at the outfitters down the street from them on Broadway, but mostly I miss having an excuse to hang there. I have a friend from grad school living in the hills above downtown. I should call on him again.

    The neighbor thing almost deserves a separate thread. I've had my share of winners in the past but where I am now is almost neighborhood nirvana. Not just that I ski and work out with some of them or that there are more trees and greater separation than I'm used to but somehow my cul-de-sac is a social center.  Most holidays in the warm season there are barbecues in the cul-de-sac and people seem to just enjoy hanging together.  Part of it is people are happier here then where I've lived in the past

    Not that there aren't kooks and characters, rhey're just the warm, friendly in touch with themselves kind. Which is fortunate because of that old cliché to which you relate which is you can't pick your neighbors.
    avatar
    Mongrel

    Posts : 1761
    Join date : 2012-12-04
    Location : The Oort Cloud

    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Mongrel on Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:55 pm

    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:
    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:Well turn over all the cards… tennis wins the gay contest for sure.  

    My conditioning cycle these last couple of years is opposite you guys. Once skiing starts the workouts decline, the roads aren't cycle able and it is difficult to maintain summer shape. During the summer it seems everybody bikes and the opportunities are endless. I thought I was as fit as a 50-year-old body would allow until some asshole X Olympian demonstrated otherwise. Sports-wise around here there's always a bigger fish.

    Poe, looks like a cool project. I suggest screening the chain-link fence as well as your neighbor. Maybe that's your plan.  Around here concrete freezes and cracks readily so we use decks. I'd rather have concrete.

    Kiwi, I suffered a mishap here that has put an end to most of my drinking. Amazing how much more I can eat and maintain my current weight without alcohol. The mishap involved the strict alcohol laws in the state of Utah. I was stopped coming out of a bar and blew a .045. Even though the limit is .08 per officer discretion any amount of alcohol can support a DUI. Even without a conviction my license was revoked for 60 days while I await trial. So the GF does the driving and my ex girlfriend neighbor teases me by calling me Miss Daisy.

    For a couple of grand I've hired the biggest badass DUI attorney in Utah who assures me I'll get off. But even if I do for two years if I get pulled over and any amount of alcohol or trace of pot shows up I go to jail for at least a week and possibly two months.  So no more pot which isn't a problem I wasn't that frequent and it was social. But I will be using cabs a lot. As I have been. I love it here and this doesn't change that however the Mormons don't like us non-Mormon Park Cityites very much.

    But they absolutely love the revenue we bring in including the liquor sales which the state has a monopoly on and supports a good deal of their budget. I'm past reacting to something as common as the hypocrisy upon which all religion rests.

    Yap, screening the fence. Eventually the fence will be replaced with black chain-link fencing.  We are basically making a room out of the lower patio.  We're going to try burnt cedar (shou-sugi-ban) for the screen. http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/169711/list/Shou-sugi-ban---Charred-Wood-Siding---Burnt-Wood-Siding We'll be using vegetation to define the areas better and to add additional screening.  The upper patio is off basically public just off the den/wet bar.  The lower area is just off the master bedroom. So we want the lower are to be an extension of the master bedroom and to be pretty private.

    From my trip to Utah, it seems that the Mormons like their prescription drugs, and sex.  About every other billboard was either about teen pregnancy or prescription drug abuse.

    Yeah… I think people get fucked up here as much or more than anywhere particularly Mormons but the level of judging is greater.  When the officers back at the station figured out I donate a great deal of time to pro bono work here they were kind of ashamed they hassled me.  

    But once stopped charges are unavoidable. They kind of signaled to me they'd be backing off in court and the report was pretty complementary.  No overnight jail stay or bail which I'm told is unusual.

    That burnt wood looks fantastic… Should contrast all the green around your yard very well.  Really nice the way to concrete the green and the wood will complement each other. From Photos way back I always thought your yard space had huge potential.

    Being hassled by johnny law sucks. I can't imagine being hassled by one that is a Mormon with an agenda.

    The other thing that struck me about Utah was the amount of young boys working.  I watched two 10-14 year old boys doing the landscape maintenance on the property we were staying at.  The 10 year old could hardly reach the mower handle but he was out mowing the property at 8:30 at night. You just don't see that other places.  

    I agree on my backyard.  Being a land surveyor I've seen many properties in Portland. When I walked into our backyard 20 years ago, I told my wife we were going to be buying this place.  One thing I really like is we only have 3-4 neighbors.  Which is pretty cool for being 5 minutes from downtown.  The only downside to the property is highway road noise. Once the screen is up, planting done, I'm going to focus a fountain.  Nothing fancy but just enough water sound to mask the road noise.

    The other unfortunate part is about 12 years ago the property next to us sold and an a-hole from NY city. He's a pig and does stuff like pull 6 months worth of weeds on the side yard, put them in an orange wheelbarrow, and leave it sitting just outside our bedroom window for 2 months. It's a beautiful thing to see our nice vegetation of flowers with his orange wheelbarrow full of weeds in a background. He replanted sod in the front and backyard.  Within a year he just stopped watering the lawn.  Now it's crap again.  He complains that "the sod must have been defective or some shit." Anyway, we don't get along at all.  My wife wants the screen to be 20 feet tall so we don't have to deal with his sorry arse. I guess every rose does have a thorn.  He's also a breeder and is doing a great job teaching his children how to be bullies.  

    So your wife wants a 20 foot screen? Here's a suggestion for a nice vegetative screen: bamboo. The kind that is invasive. To keep it from spreading in your lawn, make sure to install some thin metal plates at least three feet deep on your side of the bamboo. It will spreak quickly on the other side.

    And anyone who sods a lawn in a climate like you must have is a moron.
    avatar
    Poe4soul

    Posts : 417
    Join date : 2012-12-08
    Location : Portland, OR

    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Poe4soul on Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:05 pm

    Mongrel wrote:
    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:
    Poe4soul wrote:
    Lorenzzo wrote:Well turn over all the cards… tennis wins the gay contest for sure.  

    My conditioning cycle these last couple of years is opposite you guys. Once skiing starts the workouts decline, the roads aren't cycle able and it is difficult to maintain summer shape. During the summer it seems everybody bikes and the opportunities are endless. I thought I was as fit as a 50-year-old body would allow until some asshole X Olympian demonstrated otherwise. Sports-wise around here there's always a bigger fish.

    Poe, looks like a cool project. I suggest screening the chain-link fence as well as your neighbor. Maybe that's your plan.  Around here concrete freezes and cracks readily so we use decks. I'd rather have concrete.

    Kiwi, I suffered a mishap here that has put an end to most of my drinking. Amazing how much more I can eat and maintain my current weight without alcohol. The mishap involved the strict alcohol laws in the state of Utah. I was stopped coming out of a bar and blew a .045. Even though the limit is .08 per officer discretion any amount of alcohol can support a DUI. Even without a conviction my license was revoked for 60 days while I await trial. So the GF does the driving and my ex girlfriend neighbor teases me by calling me Miss Daisy.

    For a couple of grand I've hired the biggest badass DUI attorney in Utah who assures me I'll get off. But even if I do for two years if I get pulled over and any amount of alcohol or trace of pot shows up I go to jail for at least a week and possibly two months.  So no more pot which isn't a problem I wasn't that frequent and it was social. But I will be using cabs a lot. As I have been. I love it here and this doesn't change that however the Mormons don't like us non-Mormon Park Cityites very much.

    But they absolutely love the revenue we bring in including the liquor sales which the state has a monopoly on and supports a good deal of their budget. I'm past reacting to something as common as the hypocrisy upon which all religion rests.

    Yap, screening the fence. Eventually the fence will be replaced with black chain-link fencing.  We are basically making a room out of the lower patio.  We're going to try burnt cedar (shou-sugi-ban) for the screen. http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/169711/list/Shou-sugi-ban---Charred-Wood-Siding---Burnt-Wood-Siding We'll be using vegetation to define the areas better and to add additional screening.  The upper patio is off basically public just off the den/wet bar.  The lower area is just off the master bedroom. So we want the lower are to be an extension of the master bedroom and to be pretty private.

    From my trip to Utah, it seems that the Mormons like their prescription drugs, and sex.  About every other billboard was either about teen pregnancy or prescription drug abuse.

    Yeah… I think people get fucked up here as much or more than anywhere particularly Mormons but the level of judging is greater.  When the officers back at the station figured out I donate a great deal of time to pro bono work here they were kind of ashamed they hassled me.  

    But once stopped charges are unavoidable. They kind of signaled to me they'd be backing off in court and the report was pretty complementary.  No overnight jail stay or bail which I'm told is unusual.

    That burnt wood looks fantastic… Should contrast all the green around your yard very well.  Really nice the way to concrete the green and the wood will complement each other. From Photos way back I always thought your yard space had huge potential.

    Being hassled by johnny law sucks. I can't imagine being hassled by one that is a Mormon with an agenda.

    The other thing that struck me about Utah was the amount of young boys working.  I watched two 10-14 year old boys doing the landscape maintenance on the property we were staying at.  The 10 year old could hardly reach the mower handle but he was out mowing the property at 8:30 at night. You just don't see that other places.  

    I agree on my backyard.  Being a land surveyor I've seen many properties in Portland. When I walked into our backyard 20 years ago, I told my wife we were going to be buying this place.  One thing I really like is we only have 3-4 neighbors.  Which is pretty cool for being 5 minutes from downtown.  The only downside to the property is highway road noise. Once the screen is up, planting done, I'm going to focus a fountain.  Nothing fancy but just enough water sound to mask the road noise.

    The other unfortunate part is about 12 years ago the property next to us sold and an a-hole from NY city. He's a pig and does stuff like pull 6 months worth of weeds on the side yard, put them in an orange wheelbarrow, and leave it sitting just outside our bedroom window for 2 months. It's a beautiful thing to see our nice vegetation of flowers with his orange wheelbarrow full of weeds in a background. He replanted sod in the front and backyard.  Within a year he just stopped watering the lawn.  Now it's crap again.  He complains that "the sod must have been defective or some shit." Anyway, we don't get along at all.  My wife wants the screen to be 20 feet tall so we don't have to deal with his sorry arse. I guess every rose does have a thorn.  He's also a breeder and is doing a great job teaching his children how to be bullies.  

    So your wife wants a 20 foot screen? Here's a suggestion for a nice vegetative screen: bamboo. The kind that is invasive. To keep it from spreading in your lawn, make sure to install some thin metal plates at least three feet deep on your side of the bamboo. It will spreak quickly on the other side.

    And anyone who sods a lawn in a climate like you must have is a moron.

    Portland has Bamboo on their noxious weed list. So, if you plant it and it damages another property, you have to pay the damages and for the removal. We're considering some moderately high, compact, columnar screen plant like cypress or arbor vitae.

    Well, I guess I'm a moron. I planted sod but I had no choice. We hit a wet fall, which delayed the concrete, which delayed the grading and irrigation. By the time we were ready to seed, or in our case hydro-seed, the soil temp was too low to germinate seed. Which is unfortunate because, as you stated, we have the perfect conditions for growing sod. My neighbor is just an impatient a-hole and wanted instant gratification.

    My dogs have grown to hate him and bark at him on site. He's such a stupid pr!ck he responds to them in a curt voice saying shit like "How rude!" Then they really start barking. Nothing like a moron to bring themselves down to a dogs IQ. He could buy $4 worth of biscuits, or just ask me for some, and become our dogs best friends. Instead he tries to intimidate them. Herding breads, especially cattle dogs, don't take to being intimidated. He's just a phucking bully and I hate bullies. So we get along just perfectly.

    His phucking wife is stupid too. Our houses are on a blind corner. When his kids were about 8-10 years old, they would have friend's children over. We have no sidewalks. The kids were using their chalk in the middle of the road, sitting indian style, heads down drawing. A truck came around the corner and almost hit them. That night my wife mentioned it to his wife and all hell broke loose. She starting screaming that her kids had all the right to play in front of their house and that they were safe because she told them to have one of them on lookout at all times. Hello, dumbshit! These are 8-10 year old kids with an attention span of a nat. I really don't know how they survived but they did are teenage years now.
    avatar
    Mongrel

    Posts : 1761
    Join date : 2012-12-04
    Location : The Oort Cloud

    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Mongrel on Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:43 pm

    I understand why you needed to sod. I really like sod since my father grow it and sold it on our family farm. A mixture of Kentucky and Merion bluegrasses. Too bad about the bamboo. However, there is another screening plant that might come with an added benefit. The Butterfly Bush. I bought two several years ago. A white flower one and a blue flower one. The blue bush never grew well and died last winter. The white flower bush has thrived and is now almost nine feet tall with a seven or eight foot spread. The real benefit is that these bushes attract not only butterflies and humming birds, but bees and other stinging insects. Just the ting for that pesky neighbor. If he can't tune in to the groove of dogs, he's likely to be terrified of bees and might keep away from the property line.
    avatar
    Poe4soul

    Posts : 417
    Join date : 2012-12-08
    Location : Portland, OR

    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  Poe4soul on Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:57 pm

    Mongrel wrote:I understand why you needed to sod. I really like sod since my father grow it and sold it on our family farm. A mixture of Kentucky and Merion bluegrasses. Too bad about the bamboo. However, there is another screening plant that might come with an added benefit. The Butterfly Bush. I bought two several years ago. A white flower one and a blue flower one. The blue bush never grew well and died last winter. The white flower bush has thrived and is now almost nine feet tall with a seven or eight foot spread. The real benefit is that these bushes attract not only butterflies and humming birds, but bees and other stinging insects. Just the ting for that pesky neighbor. If he can't tune in to the groove of dogs, he's likely to be terrified of bees and might keep away from the property line.

    You really know how to pick them.

    The Butterfly bush is on Oregon's noxious weed list.
    http://www.oregon.gov/ODA/PLANT/WEEDS/pages/profile_butteflybush.aspx

    And Portland Invasive Plants list.
    https://www.portlandoregon.gov/bes/article/98648

    I do agree. They are nice plants and once established you can whack them back to the ground and they will grow back. Just keep an eye of for volunteers.
    avatar
    jmtbkr

    Posts : 358
    Join date : 2012-12-05
    Location : LawnGuylund/Palm Beach Gardens

    Re: Road Cycling Cured My Hemorrhoids

    Post  jmtbkr on Fri Jul 11, 2014 7:29 am

    Another alternative is Rose of Sharon, a northern hybiscus plant. Grows like a weed, is super thick and get beautiful flowers mid-summer and on, if you give it plenty of sunlight.

    I have both it and butterfly bushes. You need to cut it down in March, before the growing season and then weekly maintenence to keep them in check, or they will overtake everything.

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