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    Crappy day

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    jt1135

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    Crappy day

    Post  jt1135 on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:52 pm

    Had to take my dad to the nursing home today as me and mom can't take care of him anymore. On the way almost started crying knowing he will never be in this house again.
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    Pky6471

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  Pky6471 on Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:29 pm

    jt1135 wrote:Had to take my dad to the nursing home today as me and mom can't take care of him anymore. On the way almost started crying knowing he will never be in this house again.
    The old Asian/Oriental saying "Born, Old, Sickness, Death" ... the 4 cycles that we all have to go through...
    I understand how you feel because I went thru that tough times with my Dad and Mom... He passed away sleeping thru the night, best way to go, Mom went in a nursing home because we could not take care of her, she passed away after that... Accept the cycles then we would live better. Good luck to you and your family
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    Mongrel

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  Mongrel on Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:55 pm

    That is tough. However, keep in mind that he is still alive and his remaining time should be better for him with skilled care. He will meet others there in similar situations and bond with them. I saw this with my father and step mother when they sold the house and moved into a facility that contains all three stages of accommodations-- independent apartments, assisted living, and acute nursing. Several years ago, my father deteriorated to the point where he had to go into the acute nursing unit leaving my step mother alone in the independent apartment. Ironically, she died in that unit and he died less than three months later. But if they had stayed in the house, my father would not have lasted a year and they were in the home more than a decade. So cherish the time you still have with him because our time in the living state is just a fleeting moment in the Grand Scheme of Things. Mongrel out.
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    jt1135

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  jt1135 on Fri Apr 05, 2013 10:29 pm

    Thank you guys!!! Being a basement dweller, I have spent a lot of time on this computer. It was worth it taking an early retirement and being able to help my folks out.
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    FreakOfNature

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  FreakOfNature on Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:32 am

    jt1135 wrote:Had to take my dad to the nursing home today as me and mom can't take care of him anymore. On the way almost started crying knowing he will never be in this house again.

    That's rough JT. I know that a similar day is coming soon for me as well.

    IIRC, your father is going through the same battle as mine. Alzheimer's, right? What a disgusting disease. I've been with my old man countless times in the last few years, but it's been at least four years since I've seen my DAD. I know how hard it is to go through the pain of seeing someone lose their identity, and their dignity.

    I was home trying to help care for him, as you have, for the past couple years. The stress of the whole ordeal took a toll on my health to the point where my wife basically had to separate me from the situation for my own good. It really is the worst feeling to know you care so much about someone, and to also be confronted with the harsh reality that you can't adequately provide them with the care they require.

    So terribly sorry JT. I'm feeling for you .
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    12pierogi

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  12pierogi on Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:15 am

    I wish I could get a couple rounds in with you.
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    jt1135

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  jt1135 on Sat Apr 06, 2013 9:52 am

    Thanks much guys and a tip of the cap to ya FON for taking the time and effort to help you parents. It truly is a terrible disease that strips people of any kind of a normal life in the later years.

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    Pky6471

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  Pky6471 on Sat Apr 06, 2013 10:39 am

    My wife's uncle-in-law was in a nursing home for 5 yrs, he was shrinking and did not recognize anyone of us, probable he still recognized his wife since she came and fed him EVERY day. thanks God he passed away after 5 yrs , unfortunately, his beloved wife also passed away 6 months after that due to lung cancer and the pơor lady did not even smoke one cigarette in her life, neither did he.

    It taught me a very valuable thing in life... Enjoy it while I could, I don't get mad... NOTHING is more important to me than my wife and my kids

    God bless all of us
    (I have a T-time at 2PM today ... my time for brain therapy)
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    JonT

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  JonT on Sat Apr 06, 2013 1:20 pm

    So sorry for your fathers downturn, and your situation jt; that feeling of loss starts happening sometimes before they are actually gone. My mother had Alzheimer's, and died after 10 years in assisted living, and later,nursing home care; my father lasted only three month's with cancer. Both were tough; my fathers was so fast there wasn't time to do anything together; my mothers was worse in that it seemed cruel in it's slow deterioration. I told both my parents I loved them every time I was with them until they died; I figured it was the least I could do, and may have mattered the most.
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    jt1135

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  jt1135 on Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:26 pm

    Well, my dad passed away today. He died peacefully and with no pain surrounded by my mom, uncle and I. Only spent 11 nights in the nursing home so that was a blessing. He was a husband, father and a person that didn't take crap from anybody. RIP!!!
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    Pky6471

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  Pky6471 on Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:24 am

    jt1135 wrote:Well, my dad passed away today. He died peacefully and with no pain surrounded by my mom, uncle and I. Only spent 11 nights in the nursing home so that was a blessing. He was a husband, father and a person that didn't take crap from anybody. RIP!!!

    Our condolences. If there is a way to go, that's one of the best ways. My Dad passed away during his sleep,... Time will heal our pains. I am pretty sure he was the great man. Take good care of your Mom.
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    Kiwigolfer

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  Kiwigolfer on Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:12 am

    JT

    Hadn't seen this post previously. Deepest condolences mate. Hope your Dad passed away peacefully and cherish his memory. As an old friend once said when his Dad got sick. "It's a day we all dread mate, but it's all part of the journey."

    All the best mate. disappointed
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    jmtbkr

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  jmtbkr on Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:27 am

    I feel for you, JT.
    Been there, done that.

    I hope you keep all the cherished memories of your dad close.

    Just remember, if your lonely, just talk to him, he's always listening!

    Peace.

    J
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    jt1135

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  jt1135 on Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:16 am

    Thank you all.
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    Lord Helmet

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  Lord Helmet on Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:28 am

    Thoughts and prayers my friend.
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    Mongrel

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  Mongrel on Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:36 am

    My sympathies with you and your family. My father lingered in pretty severe pain for several years in a home slowly losing various functions. I think that quick is the best way to go. My best golf buddy from two decades ago died on April 1 and I had not seen him in years. I caught his obituary on the local paper's website and it said that he had been ill and died in a hospice. He was two years younger than me and played as a pro on the mini-tour in Florida in the early '70's. Five days later, I played our first club event of the year and had one of my best rounds in some time finishing second out of 32. On some shots, I swear I could hear him coaching me in the back of my mind. I'm sure your father, as was mentioned above, will do the same for you.
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    FamousDavis
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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  FamousDavis on Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:54 am

    jt1135 wrote:Well, my dad passed away today. He died peacefully and with no pain surrounded by my mom, uncle and I. Only spent 11 nights in the nursing home so that was a blessing. He was a husband, father and a person that didn't take crap from anybody. RIP!!!

    Sorry to hear that JT. Sounds to me like you were a good son to him.
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    jt1135

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  jt1135 on Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:21 pm

    Thanks guys. He was ready and he always said he didn't want to go to the nursing home. Pretty much EVERYBODY leaves that place feet first. 11 days and not once did he realize where he was at.
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    Fluffy

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    Re: Crappy day

    Post  Fluffy on Thu Apr 18, 2013 5:00 am

    Condolences buddy.

    The only truth in this world, death, we all get there eventually. And there could only be a better place on the other side.

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